Chapter 194

 

CHAPTER 194

 

All day Alexander tried, he really tried, to talk to Hephaistion but, whenever he opened his mouth, words failed him. There were very few things that scared him, so few that many thought he knew no fear, but an angry Hephaistion was something that could reduce him to a trembling jelly. 

 

— I can’t believe I fell sick –his beloved complained that night while Alexander arranged his pillows before helping him to drink a tea— Leon was planning a costume party for this weekend and I had *sneeze*…I had everything ready to go as John Snow.

 

— Mm…—Hephaistion finished his tea and watched his lover confused. Usually this was the part when the blond started to complain about his liking for cosplay but, instead, he looked as if his mind were somewhere else.

 

— You have been really weird the whole day –his beloved pointed out.

 

— Yes, well…—Alexander left the empty cup on the night table— I…something happened –Hephaistion frowned.

 

— Is that why you left to Julius’ place in such a hurry? –he nodded. He was sure his voice would fail him if he tried to talk— You know you can tell me what is bothering you –his beloved took his hand and his loving and understanding voice only served to make the blond feel even worst. 

 

— I know it’s just…it’s so difficult to explain –one look at his dark gray eyes and he panicked. He did not want to lose Hephaistion, he would die without him, but, if he told him the truth…

 

He will hate me –he thought. For a moment Alexander toyed with the idea of not saying anything and wait until the situation was solved but then, he remembered how furious his beloved had been when he saw the pictures of him with Julius.

 

— Phai…I got married at Las Vegas –he said so quickly that it took Hephaistion a moment to fully understand what had he said. 

 

— You did, WHAT?! –even the flu appeared to have left him in that moment. His beloved looked at him angry, surprised and confused…although more confused than angry and that gave the blond a little hope— With whom? —then Hephaistion thought something that enraged him— Don’t you dare to tell me you marry Julius because I will KILL you. 

 

— NO! –the sole idea was crazy, he married to Julius?…Alright he had to stop thinking that— I married a woman, I was drunk, I don’t remember much of what happened and I’m trying to solve this but Julius says it will take time –he explained so quickly that he did not even breathe.  

 

— Drunk enough to marry a woman? Alex, stop kidding me. I know you and I have see you drunk more times that I care to count, it will take a barrel to knock you out not to mention cloud what you claim is brain to get married.

 

How could he do this? –Hephaistion could feel his heart beating savagely against his temples in what promised to become the mother of all headaches.

 

— I don’t know how that happened.

 

— You don’t know?!

 

— Phai, I swear by the love I feel for you…

 

— Oh, please! –he exclaimed— Don’t talk to me about how much you love me right now.

 

— Fine. I swear by the life of our son that I really can’t remember how was that I ended married –Alexander said from the bottom of his heart.

 

Hephaistion was angry, really angry, but what prevented him from looking for his very sharp replica of Jon Snow’s sword Longclaw to cut Alexander into little pieces, was his very sincere remorse. He took a deep breath, counted to 10 and…counted again.

 

— What do you know of what happened?

 

—All I know is, I met Roxanne at a casino –the blond answered more slowly— I thought she was funny and then, someone mentioned something about getting married…no wait, I think it was a bet. Someone challenged me to get marry and then, I did.

 

— Did you sleep with her?

 

— I guess I did.

 

Silence.

 

What am I suppose to do now? –thought Hephaistion, not very sure of what to feel in those moments.

 

— You said Julius is solving this mess –his beloved talked almost whispering. 

 

— Yes, but it will take a while because Roxanne doesn’t want the divorce.

 

Of course not! Alex is a rock star, who would want to divorce him? –he thought.

 

Silence again.

 

— Phai…

 

— Mm?

 

— I am sorry.

 

— I know –Hephaistion sighed.

 

— Please don’t hate me –the sweet tone of his voice made him smile despite everything.

 

— I will have to think about it –and have one or three cups of something really strong— Give me time.

 

— Ok –Alexander nodded— Do you want me to go?

 

— Yes –even if Alexander could understand this he had hopped for a different answer. He took his pillow and went to the sofa.

 

XXX

 

— What did you do now? –was Achilles’ greeting next morning when he found his dad sleeping in the living room.

 

— What makes you think I did something? –Alexander yawned, rubbing his eyes and moving lazily over his improvised bed.

 

— Because if daddy had done something he would be the one sleeping here, dah! –now that Achilles would be 13 years old next November he was even more unbearable.

 

I insist, I don’t know if I’ll be able to live through his adolescence –he thought.

 

— So? –the teenager insisted, changing his weight from one foot to the other.

 

— So what?

 

— What did you do? –Achilles sat down at his side. He was still in his pajamas and, for the blond’s absolute horror, he was barefoot.

 

— Achilles Argead-Amyntoros didn’t I tell you to use slippers? Your father has the flu and I don’t want you too sick –the blond scolded him. His son was a boy of fragile health and, every time he caught a cold was like the end of the world. They always ended in the ER with a blue Achilles who could barely breath.

 

— You exaggerate too much –answered the teenager.

 

— Oh, I exaggerate? Fine, next time you can’t breath you can take your lonely ass to the ER –both fell silent.

 

— Fine. I’m sorry, I’ll use slippers…and socks –the blond nodded and his son poked his side with his finger— Your turn, what did you do this time? I heard you both arguing last night but couldn’t get one word right, just “married” and “sorry.”

 

Alexander puffed his cheeks out. He really did not want to discuss this with his son but, he would hear of it sooner or later.

 

— I got married with a woman at Las Vegas –every time he told the story sounded even more foolish. How was that he had done such a thing? Hephaistion was right, it took a lot of alcohol to knock him out and usually he always remembered what he did.

 

— Wow! You outdid yourself this time –exclaimed Achilles but, there was no mockery in his voice. He was concerned— Why?

 

— I was drunk, ok?

 

— But…what did daddy say? Is he angry? Because when you kissed Julius he totally freaked out –he reminded the blond— Is he asking for the divorce? You have to apologize and admit everything was your fault, do you understand?

 

Even if Achilles did not want to look worried he was. He loved both his fathers and did not want to lose his family over a strange woman. Alexander was really touched and squeezed his shoulder fondly, ignoring his bossy tone of voice. 

 

— Nobody is divorcing here, son. We are trying to fix this –the blond assured him.

 

— Do you promise me you will fix this?

 

— You have my word –and the teenager relaxed visibly.

 

— At least… was she hot? –Achilles wanted to know—What’s her name?

 

— Roxanne Bactria –answered Alexander and his son took his iphone from his pajamas’ pocket to Google the name.

 

I can’t believe I didn’t even know her last name. That’s it! I will never drink again –he swore.

 

— Cool! Did you know she is a playmate?

 

— What?! –the blond sat— Give me the phone –and for Achilles utterly disappointment he took the iphone from him.

 

What the hell? –thought Alexander watching Roxanne’s half naked pictures— She is a playmate? Well, that will explain a lot. 

 

— I thought you were sleeping –Hephaistion’s voice made the blond and Achilles turned.

 

His beloved was wrapped in his blanket and looking as bad as the day before, with his nose red and his eyes puffy.

 

— Aki woke me –said Alexander, standing up and taking the iphone with him. He wasn’t going to let the boy keep looking at these pictures.

 

I know. Feeble attempt, most probably he will jump on the web in the same moment Phai and I stop looking at him –the blond sighed.

 

— Aki, go to your room –said Hephaistion. In normal circumstances Achilles would have argued with a never-ending list of reasons of why that was so unfair, but not today, that morning he did exactly as he was told.

 

His beloved sat and Alexander did the same, waiting for him to talk first.

 

— I have been thinking a lot about this –said Hephaistion— In fact, I did not sleep last night thinking carefully about everything and I reached a conclusion.

 

The blond felt his heart beating savagely.

 

— Which is?

 

— There is something really weird about this woman –said Hephaistion for his utterly surprise, he was waiting something completely different— I called Perdikkas this morning and he doesn’t remember either what happened, but, for what he tells me I think you 2 were drugged.

 

— What?! Why?

 

— Call me paranoid or maybe the writer inside me is playing tricks on my mind but I think this woman’s goal was to marry you –his beloved explained— And planned everything to get you.

 

It was crazy but, that would also explain a lot of things— I have to be very careful –thought the blond. 

 

— Does this mean that you…are no longer angry with me? –Hephaistion smiled.

 

— Not as much as yesterday, no –Alexander moved closer to kiss him but his beloved moved away.

 

— Don’t. I’m sick.

 

— So, what? –and for Hephaistion amusement the blond kissed him.

 

XXX

 

— Roxanne is pregnant? –Hephaistion was as confused and incredulous as Alexander when Julius gave them the news— It’s been a month since the wedding, how can she be so sure Alex is the father?

 

— Do you want her version or mine? –asked Julius in that particular tone of him sounded as if he were joking but you never could tell.

 

— Hers –Alexander asked.

 

— Roxanne claims she hasn’t…how did her lawyer put it? Oh, yes, she hasn’t known another man since the wedding day.

 

— And your version? –this time it was Hephaistion who asked.

 

— She is lying, one look at her will tell you. For what I learned Roxanne is cunning and very manipulative, she always gets what she wants but not this time; anyone with 2 points of intelligence will know what kind of woman she is but, we can’t be sure if her child is Alexander’s without DNA tests which, of course, I already asked –Julius explained— But I didn’t called you just to talk about Roxanne.

 

— If this is about taking a break… 

 

— It’s precisely about that –the Roman interrupted Alexander— Perdikkas and Ptolemy are tired and I do think you all should stop for a while and rest.

 

— This is mutiny! If they are tired maybe they should just leave. I don’t need them! –by now Alexander was standing and almost shouting.

 

— You can’t replace them –said Julius with calm. 

 

— Why not? I am the leader of the band, without me there is no band and I can bloody well do as I please.

 

— Alex, calm down –said Hephaistion but his lover was beyond fury.

 

And things did not get better when Alexander talked to Ptolemy and Perdikkas, they only got worst. Seleucus was the only one who had nothing to say since he had just recently joined the band, after Kleito’s death, but even him knew it would be good for all to take a break.

 

— You are a bunch of ungrateful bastards! –exclaimed Alexander— We came this far and now you want to abandon me?

 

— See? You are doing this again, but this time it won’t work –said Ptolemy— You always exaggerate everything. We are not abandoning you, we are not throwing to the garbage years of hard work; we just want to go home and rest, to take a bloody break!

 

— Alex, if you are as wise as you always boasts, then you should know that a wise man knows when to stop –said Perdikkas— And it’s time to stop.

 

There was no way to make the blond see reason and Hephaistion was sure the band was over but, after days of tantrum, locking himself inside the bedroom and refusing to eat, Alexander agreed to take a break.

 

XXX

 

When Hephaistion woke up he felt dizzy and confused; it took him 3 heartbeats to know where he was and then, other long moment to assimilate his dream. His dreams had never failed him, even if he didn’t understand them at first, sooner or later, they became true, and he found himself fearing the true meaning of this one— This is a warning about Roxanne –and now he was sure the Queen meant trouble.

 

For days Hephaistion thought really hard if he should tell Alexander about his suspicious and for days he fought against the fury that little by little grew stronger against Roxanne— If she was behind my son’s abduction, I will kill her –but that kind of thinking was dangerous, specially because Roxanne was, for better or worst, the King’s wife. But, as time passed, he was more and more convinced she was guilty– In what moment did I think it was a good idea for Alex to marry HER?—he felt like a fool. 

 

Alexander and Hephaistion shared everything, and with or without proofs, he knew his lover would believe him, the problem was not this— The problem is that, if this is not true, I will destroy the relationship between Alex and his Queen forever, that is if he doesn’t kill her first. And what if the child is really his? 

 

But what he did was to move Achilles from the Queen’s tent back to his own, leaving him under his sister care… and Sophia, who was like his personal nurse. Since the night Hephaistion and Berenike talked he began to pay special attention to Roxanne, where she went, with whom and why, but avoiding to ask direct questions about her— I will not give her arguments to use against me.

 

It took him a week before Hephaistion had time to talk to his son, the battle of the Hydaspes had cost them the life of almost 4,000 men, specially among the pezetairoi, who had had the terrible task of engaging the elephants in battle; and a lot of work had to be done. All of Alexander’s high officers were hosted at the palaces of King Porus’ nobles but the commander decided to stay in his tent because the men grew restless and unhappier at every passing day and, to know that their officers were having fun while they suffered the rain did not help to improve their mood. 

 

Achilles was much better now, it was still raining and it would be 2 months before the monsoon season ended, but King Porus’ doctor proved to be more skillful treating his son than doctor Philip and the Prince had been able to even leave the tent and do a little exercise.

 

— Tell me again about the battle –asked Achilles that day while sharing his meal with Hephaistion.

 

Since King Porus became their ally their food supplies had improved, even the ranking soldiers could enjoy small luxuries but not even this had served to improve their dark mood— Something has to be done and quick or we’ll have a mutiny soon.

 

— Aki, I have told you the same story 3 times –his father smiled. Even if the Prince was now in peace with the idea that he would never be a great warrior that did not mean he did not like to hear war stories…especially the ones involving his fathers.

 

— I know, but I found it fascinating. I never thought elephants could be so tough.

 

Me neither –thought the commander, chewing his bread and remembering with all clarity when an elephant was about to crush him. He did not blame the men, neither he wanted to see another of those beasts any time soon.

 

— I bet this is why dad is so interested in acquiring elephants –said Achilles in a professional tone, his meat untouched and cold on his plate— He is thinking to use them in battle.

 

— I don’t know about that, but it could be possible.

 

With Alex everything is possible –he thought and both fell silent. For a long moment the only sound they heard were their chewing and the knife scrapping the plate every time they cut a piece of meat.

 

— Aki, I want to ask you something –said Hephaistion suddenly— What do you think of Roxanne?

 

— What do you mean? –the commander was intrigued by the way his son asked that question. It was as if Achilles knew something or where hiding something.

 

Has he been aware of what kind of person is Roxanne? –he wasn’t sure of the answer. A part of him thought his son knew something but, another part said it was unlikely— What should I say now? The truth, Aki deserves it. 

 

— I want to talk to you about something but first I want to know what do you think of the Queen, what kind of person do you think she is? –his father’s eyes spoke louder than his words and Achilles knew he could be honest.

 

The boy left his piece of cheese on the table, intertwined his fingers and frowned, thinking and looking like a small Alexander.

 

— At first, I thought she was just a girl, a very beautiful and intelligent one, but nothing more –the Prince spoke slowly— I did not like the idea of she and dad getting marry but I understood why he was doing it.

 

Hephaistion nodded.

 

— You were jealous, I remember –but his son shook his head.

 

— Yes, but not only that. The wedding day, while I watched them on the place of honor, I thought Roxanne was not worthy of dad, after all she was almost a nobody with no great significance. Politically speaking that is –Achilles was not judging her like a gossipy Xsayarsa would have done, he was just stating facts in that particularly dispassionate way of his— Later, I came to like her because I thought her sweet and interesting.

 

— But you change your mind, am I wrong?

 

— Yes, I changed my mind after I won my sword-belt.

 

— Why?

 

This time the Prince made a long pause. What he was about to say was not base on facts, it was just his intuition and he did not know how to explain it.

 

— I never told this to anyone but…she convinced me to disobey dad and joined the battle at Aornus –those words made Hephaistion narrowed his eyes and felt an murderous fury burning inside him— At first I paid it no attention, I thought she was trying to help me and at the end her advice worked great but… I don’t know how to explain this –he shook his head— I think Roxanne is not what she looks like.

 

Hephaistion nodded slowly.

 

— Your aunt Eni told me the same thing –he said— But she also told me something even more disturbing –his son looked at him intrigued— Your aunt and I believe Roxanne planned your abduction.

 

— Mm…it makes sense. Peisandros had no reason for risking his life without knowing what kind of man was King Porus –Achilles reflected, still analyzing everything with cold logic as if the whole affair had nothing to do with him— Besides, Roxanne has motives for wanting me dead, even more now that she is pregnant. 

 

This was a side of his son that Hephaistion did not like. Every since Cyrus Ochus died Achilles had became colder and trusted no one except his family and Chrysaor— And Seleucus, even if he doesn’t talk about him, I am sure he likes him –the worst part of this was that, if indeed Roxanne had tried to kill his son… twice, and the commander truly believed it now, Achilles would become even more distrustful.

 

— Is this why you insisted in having me here? –the Prince wanted to know.

 

— Yes, son.

 

— Mm, are you going to tell dad?

 

— Do you think I should? –he certainly did not know how.

 

What am I suppose to say? “Hey Alex, your wife tried to kill my son twice, slept with one of your mercs and tried to seduce me” –why these things had always to happen to him?

 

— I don’t think you should do it –Achilles advised— Roxanne is the Queen and everything she does affects dad. You know better than me how difficult is the situation with the troops, they are not happy and I don’t think their mood will improve if they learn about their Queen’s activities.

 

Hephaistion had thought the same thing but it was good to hear he wasn’t at all mistaken. If the men knew Roxanne had slept with Peisandros…— They will began to question Alex’s manliness…

 

— You are right –the commander sighed— But you can’t expect me to sit and do nothing knowing that this…woman tried to kill you twice.

 

— Daddy, let her be. Roxanne is very manipulative but she also has a big weakness.

 

— Which is?

 

— She thinks she is smarter than the rest of us –said Achilles— And she will make a mistake that will expose her without needing our help.

 

XXX

 

You can imagine that this proved to be one of the most difficult things I had to face in my life. I did not want to intrude in Alexander’s marriage but, at the same time, I couldn’t stay there with arms crossed doing nothing after knowing this woman had tried to kill my son and could very well attempt something against my sister, after all Berenike had been asking inconvenient questions about her.

 

I shared Achilles’ opinion, the men could not know about the Queen’s activities, but I had an obligation to tell Alexander and, an opportunity, that I could not possibly ignore, arose a week later …

 

— Phai, I want to talk to you about something –said Alexander one day. They had gone out hunting, just the 2 of them for the guards’ absolute consternation, but they desperately needed some time alone.

 

Lately everyone wants to talk to me –he thought remembering Berenike. It was midday and, after spending the morning hunting, they were now sharing the meal they had managed to cook. They hadn’t brought servants, which was not practical but infinitely more fun. It reminded the commander of the time the both of them had spent at Illyria, during their exile— When we both still dream about glory and in living amazing adventures…well, Alex still does.   

 

— I have been talking to Ambhi and Porus and I’m afraid Aristotle was wrong –this was new and caught the commander’s attention immediately— The Ocean is not close, in fact, I am afraid is still very far from here and, according to what I have heard, it will be a difficult journey to reach it.

 

— Then, what are we going to do?

 

— Advance, what else? –Alexander smiled as if the answer were obvious.

 

An expected answer but not a wise one –thought the commander, worried.

 

— The men will not like this –Hephaistion pointed out— Alex, you know better than I that the elephants took away the last remnants of their fighting spirit. They want to go home. It has been 8 years since we left and your men are getting old.

 

— I know! –his lover exclaimed angry, taking a deep breath to calm down— I know…but I cannot go back when I have come this far.

 

They fell silent.

 

I promised him I would not talk against this campaign once we left Persia –Hephaistion reminded himself.

 

— Fine –he gave up, his fingers brushing the grass in a nervous tick— But if we are not coming back, what are you going to tell the troops? If they know a hard and difficult journey is waiting for them you could very well have a mutiny.

 

The men only need a pretext, or a leader, and they will mutiny. That’s how bad our situation has become –he reflected.

 

— Nothing. No one can know about what I just told you –Alexander held his gaze— I gave Krateros orders to build a fleet but, if someone asks, it will be used for an Egyptian expedition.

 

Hephaistion frowned.

 

— What has Egypt to do with India?

 

— I began the rumor that the Hydaspes and the Chenab River are connected to the Nile –the commander look at him through big round eyes.

 

— And you expect the men to believe that? Any person with a little sense of geography knows this is impossible.

 

— Then I have to be grateful that most of my men can’t even read, don’t you think?

 

Silence again.

 

Alexander caressed his cheek with his index and middle finger and kissed him, sliding his lips over his beloved’s before parting them with the tip of his tongue.

 

— I don’t want to argue with you –he whispered, his words soft as flower’s petals.

 

— Me neither –Hephaistion surrounded his neck and kissed him fully on the mouth, moaning softly and greatly enjoying to have his strong body pressed against him.

 

It had been so long since the last time they were alone like this and he just wanted to forget everything under his kisses. He moaned softly when the hands of his King traveled up and down his back. Hephaistion still had the horrible scars, the silent reminders of the wounds Darius’ man had inflicted him with his savage whipping. It had been a long time ago and they did not hurt anymore, but he would always remember—I have lived so many things, met so many people, saw so many places…Will my memories hunt me like ghosts when I get old? 

 

Memories could torment you but no more than your actions and that inevitably reminded the commander of Roxanne— There is nothing worst that to regrets one’s actions, to wish with all your forces to go back in time and do what you failed to do.

 

 — Alex…—he sighed between kisses— We need to talk. 

 

We need to talk. Whoever said the King knew no fear never confronted him with those words. Alexander stopped his caresses.

 

— What did I do now? –he exclaimed like child, making his beloved laugh.

 

— Nothing. Why would you think that?

 

— Because usually you need to talk to me when I did something wrong –said the King.

 

— You always complain in the same way when I say: “we need to talk” –they both laughed.

 

— Well, lets go to the point. What happened now? –but the smile left Alexander when his beloved brushed his hair behind his ear. Then he knew this was serious.

 

— Alex, first of all I want you to know that I would have never come to you if I were not absolutely sure of what I’m about to tell you –he only intrigued his lover even more.

 

— Phai, just hit me, you know you can tell me anything –and the King meant it.

 

Hephaistion puffed his cheeks out.

 

— It’s about Roxanne. 

 

XXX