CHAPTER 176

 

Between Decius Caecilius Metellus the Younger and Gaius Rabirius Postumus

63 BC Rome

 

“I have never been able to understand how the King of the richest nation in the world can be so poor.”

 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Postumus agreed. “Perhaps it’s because Egypt hasn’t been a true nation since the days of the Pharaohs, hundreds of years ago. Nothing but conquerors since then. The Macedonians are just the most recent.”

 

“There hasn’t been a worthwhile Macedonian since Alexander,” I opined, the wine sharpening my wit. “And he didn’t amount for much. What does it take to beat Greeks and Persians, after all? Still, they were perfectly good barbarians while they were up in their mountains. A couple of generations after Alexander, what are they? Lunatics and drunkards, growing more degenerate with each inbred generation […] When Alexander was romping all the way to India” I said “Rome was a little Italian town fighting other Italian towns. Now we are masters of the world and we didn’t need any boyish god-king to accomplish it, either.” (1) 

 

-o-o-o-

     

And we are back, at the beginning of this mess. Alexander’s shouts, curses and growls caught the immediate attention of everyone inside the royal tent, from the guards at the door to the pages. Despite the fact that I was extremely busy trying to restrain my lover from killing Seleucus right there, piercing the officer and future King with his sword, I still could see Hermolaus coming behind Eumenes, curious to know what was going on. This whole situation was terribly familiar for all the people there, except me of course, it was like living all over again what had happened at Maracanda, that dreadful night when Kleitos’ met his creator, and even Achilles tried to prevent his adopted father from cutting the officer into little pieces.

 

I have always wonder if Achilles prevented Seleucus’ murder because he was worried for Alexander, he was afraid to witness another episode like Kleitos’ death or if he truly cared for Seleucus. I thought a lot about that while I was at Bendis’ side, after she Embraced me, hearing all those rumors about King Achilles and his most trusted General Seleucus…I guess now I would never know for sure…

 

But again, I am changing the subject. Where was I? Ah, yes, Seleucus was on the floor, his mouth bleeding, Perdikkas, Nikandros, Achilles and I were holding Alexander while Eumenes, Leonnatos, Ptolemy and Chrysaor watched everything. Bagoas was trembling, scared beyond all reason in a corner, and the guards and pages were at the threshold like spectators of that drama…

 

— I will KILL you Seleucus! –shouted Alexander beyond fury and beyond control, once again watching everything red around him, drove by an almost insane rage that looked only to see the blood of the officer spreading on the floor, a fair punishment after committing the worst sacrilege in the eyes of the King: to touch his beloved.

 

Seleucus was confused, dizzy and scared, from his position on the floor Alexander looked like a huge monster, his blond hair standing at the sides like horns, his eyes big and exorbitant. He truly had no idea of what was happening and for a moment, the blood covering his face made no sense to him. Why had he been hit? Why was the King so furious? Why was he on the floor watching the blade of Alexander’s sword hovering over him like the ax of the executioner? But more importantly, what had he done?

 

— Seleucus, get your ass out of here –said Ptolemy with difficulty and the officer obeyed without second thoughts, crawling on the floor looking for the exit.

 

— Guards! Stop him! –the King ordered and the 2 guards at the door appeared to wake up from a dream, taking Seleucus by the arms. 

 

— This is insane –muttered Hephaistion, tired, confused, angry, and still, a little horny— Everybody out of here! –he ordered, looking directly to all the people there, but, for a moment, nobody move and he had to raise his voice— OUT!

 

— Sir, what about him? –asked one of the guards, pointing at Seleucus with his chin.

 

— Take him outside and wait for instructions –the guards nodded and one by one left the room, thinking that the hipparch was truly a very brave man if he wanted to stay alone with a furious Alexander. If someone deserved to be remembered and to have people singing about his deeds, that was Hephaistion, definitely. 

 

— Are you going to be fine? –asked Nikandros worried, his previous fury now forgotten, and his brother nodded and smiled at him. 

 

The King tried to follow Seleucus but his beloved stood in front of him, blocking his way until everybody was gone. This was going to be really hard and really embarrassing to explain, who does one say in a situation like this? “Hey I was drugged and behaved like a cat in heat, now lets kiss and forget about everything”? Hephaistion took a deep breath and embraced himself for the discussion hovering over them.

 

— What, in the name of all the Spirits of the Underworld, happened here? –the King demanded to know, still holding his sword as if it were glued to his hand.

 

The hipparch did not answer immediately, he did not know what to say but also, he wanted to give Alexander a moment, hoping that this would serve to cool him a little. He knew perfectly well that, when the King was this angry, it was impossible to reason with him and he needed the blond to truly listen to him. 

 

— First, I am not going to talk to you until you put that sword aside –he held his lover’s gaze and Alexander appeared to wake up, he hadn’t realize he was still holding the weapon with such force that his knuckles were white. He sheathed his sword, walked a couple of paces and placed it on the desk. 

 

The King delayed in front of the desk for a moment, his back on his beloved and his hands resting on the wood. From behind it looked as if he were in deep concentration, assimilating especially disturbing news. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, trying with all his might to cast away the fury that did not let him think correctly. He knew his temper had put him in serious troubles before, and tonight he had felt that same fury that had made him take Kleitos’ life, something that scared him and he needed, desperately, to keep a cold head. This behavior started to worry the hipparch, he was more use to a yelling Alexander and to this silent one.

 

— Did you sleep with Seleucus? –it was simple and direct question looking for an equally direct answer. 

 

— No –the King let out the air that, until then, had been holding without realizing. He opened his eyes and turned to face his beloved.

 

— What happened then? –Hephaistion felt relieved when he saw again that warmth love in his lover’s eyes instead of killing rage.

 

— Do you trust me, Alex? –his beloved answered with another question, taking Alexander by surprise.

 

— Why do you ask? You know the answer –the King looked offended but his beloved needed to re affirm this before continuing.

 

— I ask because what I am going to tell you may sound incredibly impossible but I swear, on the life of my son, that is true –the hipparch held his gaze and Alexander knew, even without the vow, that he was honest. 

 

The King rested his weight against the desk.

 

— I’m listening.

 

Hephaistion told him about how aroused he had been, Seleucus’ suddenly appearance wanting to discuss something with him, about the officer’s theory of the aphrodisiac herbs and Xsayarsa’s gift. By the time he ended his story Alexander had his eyes big and round like plates, and was looking at the jug of wine as if it were a man guilty of murder.

 

— And, you couldn’t control yourself? –asked the King half surprise half fascinated and angry with the Gods for not letting him come back sooner to witness that.

 

— Yes, it’s like I said, as if the heat inside me had a mind of his own –said the hipparch, sitting on the bed.

 

Wow! –thought Alexander, and for his beloved’s amusement he took the jug of wine to weight it and see how much was left.

 

— Do you think Yarsa did this? –asked the blond, his eyes on the dark liquid.

 

— Honestly, I don’t think so –said Hephaistion, stretching his legs to the front— But I can’t think of someone else, as far as I know, Yarsa and I were the only ones who knew about the herbs.

 

—  You should have told me before –said Alexander, like a child planning a prank and smelling the wine with curiosity. For his dismay there wasn’t much left, maybe a cup or even less. 

 

— Oh, and what would have you done with these herbs? –asked Hephaistion, with an evil smile dancing on his lips.

 

— I can think of a couple of things –answered a very amused King leaving the jug aside, but soon, the smile abandoned his face and another question arose in his mind— Phai, I understand everything you said, and I believe you but, there is only one thing I don’t get. 

 

— What’s that?

 

— If you did not sleep with Seleucus, what did you 2 did? –Alexander asked the key question— I know you, and I know how you look after having sex, so?…

 

Hephaistion puffed his cheeks out and, for his lover’s utterly delight, he blushed and brushed his hair behind his ear.

 

— Seleucus could have easily bedded me –he said, looking at his feet as if these were the most fascinating thing in the universe— I practically begged him because the heat inside was driving me crazy, but he didn’t, he…—his beloved cleared his throat— He just er- gave me a hand.

 

— What do you mean? –asked a very confused King for his hipparch utterly embarrassment.

 

— Seleucus…masturbated me, all right? –Hephaistion blushed even more.

 

— Ah –Alexander was not please, he was not happy and he still wanted to kill the officer, but he had to admit that, considering the situation Seleucus should not only be spared, he should be awarded with a medal or something, after all, how many men in his place would have behaved in the same way? But that was not important, what was really important was…— How do you feel?

 

— Extremely embarrassed –his beloved confessed, finally looking at him— Do you think is easy for me to live knowing that Seleucus, a man with whom I have hardly spoken 3 or 4 times, had to touch me like that? –he puffed— It was so humiliating! And now thanks to you everyone, including the pages, know we were both alone in your room making out or having sex.  

 

Now it was the King’s turn to feel ashamed.

 

— I am sorry.

 

Both fell silent.

 

Alexander approached Hephaistion and sat at his side, embracing him, and resting his head on his shoulder. His beloved relaxed.

 

— I will find out who mixed the wine with the aphrodisiac herbs –whispered the hipparch, for him it was important to find answers, he could not live without knowing.

 

— But…we don’t know for sure it was the wine –said Alexander— Perhaps we should make a test.

 

Hephaistion moved away from him, and looked at his lover with surprise, amusement and evilness.

 

— Are you serious?

 

— Well, I’m just saying that, in order to be sure it was really the wine’s fault, you should drink another cup and then we’ll see –said the King and his beloved laughed.

 

— And why don’t you drink the wine? –the hipparch pinched his nose.

 

— No, no, no we need a cold head here and you already drank a lot whereas I am sober –said the King. Hephaistion smiled, shaking his head and biting his lower lip.

 

— Tell me something, for the sake of the argument, if I agreed to drink that wine again, what are you planning to do? –the hipparch purred the words.

 

— Well, last time I checked, Nick was still outside the room –Hephaistion laughed as if someone were tickling him.

 

— You are a perv –he protested, even if the sole thought of sleeping with both, Alexander and his brother, made him shudder again in pleasure— But we’ll see what I can do for your birthday, my King.

 

And that made Alexander happier than the conquest of India would have ever made him. 

 

XXX

 

It took one night for my King’s men to reach the top of the cliff beneath the fortress known as the Soghdian Rock, and a very proud Alexander sent a messenger to the defenders saying that, if they looked up, they would see he had found his winged men. I don’t have to say that Oxyartes and his men were truly demoralized and they promptly surrendered.

 

I was not at Alexander’s side when he finally entered in the fortress, and I was not there when he talked to Oxyartes because, as I said, I was trying to figure out what the hell had happened to me the night before…

 

Nikandros had been laughing for almost 15 minutes after Hephaistion told him everything that had happened, finding this extremely amusing for his brother’s utterly misery.

 

— I still can’t find the fun in this –the hipparch complained, his arms crossed over his chest, watching the lochagos through narrowed eyes while they walked around the fortress.

 

They were on the walls and both brothers had to admit the sight was impressive, imposing, from this high. They were on the top of a series of precipices that the popular opinion considered inexpugnable. Hephaistion’s dark gray eyes could see before him the mountains, covered in snow and the blue sky, vast and forever immutable, completely oblivious to the problems of the mortal below. It was truly beautiful but also extremely cold, the wind felt like needles, burying in the skin despite the several layers of cloths they were wearing. 

 

— Gods! What would I have given to find you like a cat in heat –said Nikandros, making Hephaistion blush despite the freezing wind. 

 

— Haha, Nick –said the hipparch without humor, brushing his hair from his face and closing his fur cloak— But tell me, was it funny to find out that Leon had made a fool of you marrying Eni? –that successfully stopped his brother’s laughter.

 

— Don’t remind me that –Nikandros grumbled, kicking a small rock. 

 

— Nick –Hephaistion took a deep breath, thinking how to say this— Eni loves Leon, Leon is still in love with her and they are married now, why don’t you let then be?

 

The lochagos shook his head.

 

— Phai, as you said, Leonnatos made a fool of me, and you want me to applaud him and let him do as he pleases? –he said angry— No sir, I don’t think so. 

 

— And? What are you going to do? Refuse to recognize their marriage?

 

— Your lover supports me if I choose to do it –said Nikandros.

 

— Yes Nick, but that won’t do any good –Hephaistion insisted— You and I knew Eni better than this, and we know that, if you refuse to recognize her marriage she is perfectly capable of running away –the lochagos growled knowing his brother had a point— I know you are angry but I think that, for this time, let Eni be.

 

— And let her think that she can do whatever she wants? –exclaimed Nikandros and Hephaistion looked at him like a father with a very slow child.

 

— And you truly believe that, if you oppose her marriage, Eni will understand?

 

It was not easy and the lochagos made a lot of faces, as if drinking foul water, but at the end he had to admit the hipparch was right. Their sister was as stubborn as a mule, and Hephaistion was right, to oppose now to her marriage would only complicate things even more and the last thing Nikandros wanted was more problems.

 

— Fine, you win –he said, stopping, his emerald eyes on the far away mountains— But let me tell you something –he turned to face his brother— If Eni screws things up again with Leonnatos, I don’t care if I have to drag her myself all the way to Macedonia, she will not stay here –he enunciated. 

 

Hephaistion nodded.

 

— I agree with you –he said, solemnly— If she makes a mess again, I would not speak on her behalf again.

 

— Good…Now, tell me what you have found out about what happened to you last night? –asked a very curious Nikandros, smiling again.

 

The hipparch had to admit that, despite all of his brother’s faults, he was the best person to discuss these things, Nikandros could be a lot of things but he was clever and, more importantly, he was very cunning.

 

— All right. My first clue is the wine –said Hephaistion, resting his back against the cold stone of the walls— So, I asked Hermolaus, the royal page, where did he get the wine.

 

— Did it occur to you that maybe the lad is involved in this?

 

— Yes, but I dismiss the idea as soon as I talked to him –answered the hipparch—Hermolaus found the amphora in the usual place, he did not notice anything especial except for one detail: this was the only amphora there.

 

— How convenient, then, most probably, someone inside the royal tent left it there knowing that you would drink from it –said Nikandros, resting his arms on the walls, bending a little to the front— I don’t like this, everything was too easy and you could as well be poisoned and no one would have noticed.

 

—I thought that too but…I don’t want to get myself distracted with what could have been, I want to focus in what I know –Hephaistion answered and his brother nodded— The guards saw no one coming in that day with amphorae, which left me thinking, the same as you, that someone inside the tent had it already. I couldn’t get more information about the wine because neither the pages, servants or the guards knew more, so I asked Yarsa about the herbs. 

 

— Something tells me he did not use them, am I right? –asked the lochagos, his eyes lost at some point in the distance.

 

— Yes, in fact, Yarsa was quite scandalized when I gave him the summary of what had happened –his brother explained— I even thought that these herbs did not have to be necessarily the same ones Yarsa gave to me, but when I looked for them, the box was empty.

 

— Mm, so, the same person, or persons, who put the amphora so conveniently for the page to find it had also access to your things – Nikandros, scratched his chin. He would have to shave soon— That shortens the list of suspects, the pages would be my best guess. They have accessed to both, your things and the royal tent, and no one would have suspected them.

 

— I beg to differ Nick, I have a better suspect –said Hephaistion, making his brother turn to look at him— When I talked to Yarsa and Kyros both confessed that, for some time now, they think Bagoas was planning something.

 

— Who is Bagoas?

 

— Alexander’s eunuch.

 

— The one who dances?

 

— That one.

 

— And why do they think the eunuch was planning something? –asked Nikandros with the same contempt he showed for women gossips.

 

— Kyros has the impression that he saw Bagoas leaving my room at Maracanda –this caught the lochagos’ attention— He is not sure, its just a hunch, but both, Kyros and Yarsa say that Bagoas is perfectly capable of doing something like this. And… —he vacillated, not knowing if it was a good idea to mention this.

 

— What? –Nikandros insisted.

 

— Maybe it’s nothing but Yarsa told me something really weird.

 

— Weird how?

 

— He says that last night he found a royal servant with a letter wearing my seal ring and address to Chrysaor –said the hipparch— Yarsa suspected nothing unusual and offered to deliver the letter himself.

 

— Why is that weird? –asked Nikandros.

 

— I have never written a letter to Chrysaor in my life because he can’t read –Hephaistion assured him.

 

— Maybe your eunuch was confused –said the lochagos but the hipparch shook his head.

 

— Maybe, but it would be strange because Yarsa is usually very careful with details and he knows my seal ring –he said.

 

— Did you see the letter? –Nikandros wanted to know.

 

— No, Yarsa gave it to Chrysaor –answered Hephaistion— I asked Chrysaor about it and he said he threw the letter thinking it was a joke because he knows that I know he can’t read –he made a pause— I don’t know if the mysterious letter is or is not connected with the wine and the aphrodisiac herbs, and I only mentioned this because it also happened last night, but, I sincerely don’t think both events are connected. Probably Chrysaor was right and it was only a very bad joke.

 

— Probably…—whispered Nikandros but somehow he knew that both things had to be connected, it was strange that such a weird event happened precisely the same night the whole business of the aphrodisiac herbs took place.

 

— But coming back to the wine –the hipparch continued—I think the most likely suspect is Bagoas, he has access to the royal tent and since everybody knows Alexander trusts him enough to let the eunuch shave him, the guards would have never suspected of him. The only thing I don’t get is, why would he want to do that? To win Alexander’s favor spicing his sex life? But if that were the case, why wouldn’t he deliver the wine himself? Why did he steal the herbs?

 

Nikandros took a deep breath and brushed his black blue hair with his fingers, thinking carefully about this.

 

— I can find a thousand explanations for this Phai, but I think you should talk to the eunuch –said his brother— You are good reading people and you will know if he is lying or hiding something.

 

Hephaistion sighed.

 

— I guess you are right.

 

XXX

 

Several things required the hipparch’s attention that afternoon and he had no time to look for Bagoas, who had conveniently stayed out of his sight. He was preparing to rest after a very long day making inquiries about last night events, supervising the capture of the fortress and the count of every weapon and food supplies there. Alexander insisted that his beloved were in charge of their supplies and he had to see that every sack of grain stored in the Soghdian Rock were transferred to their own stock.

 

Hephaistion was only looking for a peaceful night of sleep, in what, until a day before had been Oxyartes’ quarters, still fully dressed and lying facedown on the bed when the King arrived looking as grim as if his whole family had been massacred in front of him.

 

— What happened? –asked his beloved worried, standing up. 

 

— Another revolt started –said Alexander, he was angry but not with that burning explosive anger of his, it was a calm fury wrapped with worry and frustration and that was starting to make Hephaistion nervous— And this time, things can get really ugly. 

 

— Why? –then his hipparch thought something— Who is leading them?

 

— Cyrus Ochus –the King pronounced the name as if it were a curse. 

 

— Darius’ son?! —exclaimed his beloved as if his lover had told him cows could fly— But he is just a boy.

 

— He is 2 years older than Aki, and do I have to remind you that our son is going to be 12 soon? –Hephaistion fell silent, trying to assimilate this news while Alexander paced around— Of course he is not in command, he is just the flag of the revolt if you want to see things this way. 

 

— What happened? –the hipparch sat down, feeling a hollow in his stomach. How was he going to tell this to Achilles?

 

— You know I left Cyrus at Maracanda –said Alexander, his hands were so cold that he barely felt his fingers but he was too upset to stop and warm them in the nearest brazier— I couldn’t take him with us and I did not think it would be dangerous if he stayed behind; but he ran away and joined one of the numerous groups of malcontents that soon increased its numbers when the rumor reached them that the son of Darius’ himself was there, and now I have a very serious threat at Soghdiana. 

 

— What are you going to do? –Hephaistion felt his mouth dry, he felt lost in the middle of a nightmare.

 

— I don’t want to lose time here, but I can’t go leaving behind Darius’ only son at the head of a revolt –the King stopped— There is only one solution I can think about.

 

— What? –Alexander took a moment to choose his words, what he was going to say was delicate and not even he was sure of how to explain it.

 

— Oxyartes has a considerable force here, the men are strong and well armed –said his lover, slowly— He can deal with Cyrus while I am on my way to India.

 

— Is that wise? Cyrus is part of the Achaemenid family and we don’t know if Oxyartes would betray you as soon as we are gone –Hephaistion pointed out.

 

— I know and I…I think I have a solution –said the King, sitting at his beloved’s side— But I want to hear your opinion first.

 

— All right –he nodded.

 

— Oxyartes has 2 daughters, if I marry one that would assure me his loyalty –said Alexander.

 

— It is a good idea –answered Hephaistion, more worried about the fact that his son’s only friend was now leading a revolt against the King than about his lover’s marriage, and this took Alexander aback.

 

— Are you sure you are fine with it? –he asked, frowning.

 

— Yes, why do you ask? –he saw Alexander’s love and concerned in his uneven eyes and understood what was he thinking— Alex, we both knew one day we’ll have to get marry, besides, your father always sealed political alliances with a marriage and it worked pretty well for him, I don’t see why you shouldn’t use the same strategy.

 

— That is my hipparch speaking, not my beloved –the King pointed out— Once you told me that you were jealous after I slept with Barsine because a woman could give me something you can’t: a son, and I won’t get married unless you are fine with it.

 

Those words truly touched his beloved and he smiled sweetly.

 

— Yes Alex, but I was 22 at that time –said Hephaistion, caressing his cheek fondly— I was still naïve and very impulsive. Trust me, I will be fine as long as you love me.

 

The King took his hand and kissed the palm with devotion.

 

— I will always love you –he assured him, from the bottom of his heart.

 

Ah, I know you are dying to hear everything about Roxanne, was she really the most beautiful woman in Asia after Darius’ wife/sister? Did my King fell in love at first sight with her? First of all regarding beauty we are dealing with a very abstract concept, I have always thought that, if we had a picture of Helen of Troy, the modern society of the XXI Century would find her ugly and, undoubtedly, fat. But answering your question yes, she was beautiful, was she the most beautiful woman of Asia? No, but everybody wanted to say to the most powerful man on the planet that he had chosen the most beautiful bride of all, as simple as that.

 

Roxanne was 16 years old, she had hazelnut skin, long straight black hair and green eyes olive. She was not very tall and had a voluptuous body that made her really popular among the troops. And about the second question, Alexander found her pleasing when they met, the little viper knew how to be adorable and to say always what men wanted to hear. I have always thought she would have been a great Fairy Tale villain, you will see later why I say this.

 

Alexander treated Roxanne as he treated all women, you already know what he did with Darius’ mother, wife/sister and his daughters, you know how he treated Queen Ada, and how he behaved with Barsine or with his own mother and sisters. No mystery there. Of course I don’t have to tell you that Oxyartes was beyond happiness, he thought all his wishes had been granted in the same instant Alexander asked him for her daughter in marriage. Days before he had been ready to fight the Macedonian conqueror to death and now he was going to be the father-in-law of the most powerful man on the world. Not bad for a nobody like him.

 

With all this happening in those moments I completely forgot about Bagoas and the aphrodisiac herbs, my first concern at the time was Achilles. How was he going to react before the news of his friend’s treachery?

 

XXX

 

(1) John Maddox Roberts. SPQR series: Book II The Catiline Conspiracy, p 64 and 65