WARNING: Dear readers, I’m well aware that what I’m going to do will make many of you unhappy :’( and trust me I am very sorry because I do care for all my readers’ opinions, but this is something I have wanted to write for a very long time. I apologize for the inconveniences. Beware: Incest.

 

CHAPTER 158

 

King Ptolemy XIII to the people of Alexandria

47 BC Alexandria

 

“Here I stand in the building that houses our venerated Alexander, the greatest of all conquerors, the most beloved of all heroes, the demigod for whom our city is named, from whose authority the Ptolemies for centuries have traced the legitimacy of their divine rule. But now a man has come along who fancies himself greater than even Alexander. He thinks so little of us that he doesn’t arrive with a great navy supporting him, or a great army marching at his back; he intends to conquer us by trickery and deceit! I confess to you, my people, for a while he dazzled even me, and I gave to him a warmer welcome than he deserved. I allowed him into the royal palace; I shared food and drink with him; I listened to his vain boasting. But now my eyes are open! If the Roman has his way, he’ll throw Alexander’s body upon a dung heap! Perhaps he’ll even rename the city for himself, and you shall wake up to find yourself living in Caesaropolis! (1)

 

-o-o-o-

 

The Oxus River; laying in front of them, in those moments, looked like a formidable foe ready to fight to keep the invaders from reaching the other side. This was a broad and very deep river, it had “a sandy bottom and a swift-flowing current. The King’s engineers tried to sink piles for a bridge, but these were quickly carried away […] the country side was barren and treeless [and] to collect enough timber would have taken far too long”(2) After long hours of meditation, the only way the engineers found to cross it, was to use the tents, stitched them up and make floats. It wasn’t very fancy but they lacked time to think about more regal options.  

 

Using this method, it would take the army 5 days to cross, it was more than the King had expected but taking into consideration his circumstances he thought himself lucky and utter no word of complain. During these days Alexander had time to concentrate in other matters, and to think really hard what should he do about Hephaistion, his beloved’ condition and his own actions so far. The King had been left truly shaken after his conversation with Nikandros, he was torn now between the sadness of knowing that he was losing his soul mate and the morbid pleasure of knowing that one of the things he had always wanted could become real.

 

When a man gains so much power, when he can get whatever he wants, its difficult for him to deal with something as simple and common as the refusal. Alexander had never known the meaning of that word, always taking what he wanted, but now, now it was more obvious than ever. After all, why were them crossing the Oxus River on tents used like floats? Because the King would never accept the refusal of the Persians to name him Great King and, if he needed to kill the so-called Artaxerxes IV in order to change their minds, so be it. He had crossed mountains, burning deserts and a wretched river to achieve his goal.

 

And, even with all his power and determination, there was something he couldn’t have. Alexander couldn’t, and wouldn’t, force Hephaistion to make his most hidden fantasy real; he would kill himself first. But the Gods were about to grant him his wish, the one that was becoming his obsession for the simple fact that he couldn’t have it. It was so tempting…The King shook his head, that thought had kept him awake the whole night, but that wasn’t his most pressing problem. 

 

Even if it was difficult, even if it pained him, he had to admit his lochagos was right. He was screwing things up with his beloved and he needed a plan to clean up this mess, he was an excellent strategist surely he could come with a solution.

 

It had been so long since the last time he felt completely alone. Yes, he was surrounded by his troops, he had other friends besides Hephaistion but none with whom he felt completely at ease, not one of the thousands of men accompanying him would give Alexander what his beloved could. He could be himself around the hipparch, his true self, with no secrets and no masks, he could unburden himself with his beloved without fearing what may Hephaistion think about him.

 

Alexander was starting to understand how must Atlas feel carrying the world on his shoulders. Why he didn’t just tried to talk with Ptolemy or Perdikkas or Leonnatos about his problems? Because they wouldn’t understand and they, even if were his friends, would thought of him weak, depending so much on someone else. Alexander was a King and a King was supposed to rely on no one; they would start thinking very seriously that Hephaistion truly manipulated him, they would be blind to see the truth, that Hephaistion was the source of his strength and his link to reason not his weakness. If his beloved was at his side he was capable of anything. 

 

No. He had to solve this situation alone. But, what was the problem? Hephaistion didn’t remember him, that was obvious enough, a better question would be what was he missing? What was he doing wrong? So far, Alexander had treated his hipparch as always, with the certainty that Hephaistion was his beloved, in a way, that his affection was there just hidden somewhere behind the confusion of his mind, like fog hiding what’s ahead on the road. The King had taken Hephaistion for granted and that had been his mistake.

 

Hephaistion had no memory, what did that mean? That Alexander was a stranger to Hephaistion and he should have understood that their relationship now had to start from cero. Alexander had hoped for a miracle, he had sacrificed to all the Gods he could think of, but his beloved didn’t got better, he didn’t recover, and, even if he didn’t want to think about this, the possibility exist that maybe he would never remember. But that didn’t mean to lose him, and his answer was quite simple: he would have to win his affection again.

 

The King sighed, watching how his troops crossed the river, a slow, hard but orderly task carried with the discipline that had made the Macedonians famous in a land that had once fear the sole mention of the name Sparta. Alexander could have never imagined that one day he would have to start all over again with his hipparch, but, he won’t give up, he would fight for Hephaistion until he loved him again. They were soul mates, destined to be together, and he would prove this to both, men and Gods. He had heard rumors around the camp that the hipparch had been cursed, some even went as far as to claim that the Gods had abandoned the King, hubris called them, and his punishment was to suffer the oblivion of the person he loved the most in the world.

 

Alexander refused to believe this, he was the favorite son of the Gods, and he would prove them all wrong. He nodded feeling much better; now that he had a purpose, a goal and a path to follow he felt like his old self. As soon as he could, Alexander went to look for his hipparch, and, as he correctly assume, Hephaistion was in his brother’s tent but not inside, he was sitting on the ground, in a place nearby, reading a bunch of letters resting on his lap. He was so concentrated in what he was doing that didn’t lift his head until the King’s shadow covered him like a mantle.  

 

- Oh! Do you need something? –asked his beloved, dedicating him just a glance before returning his attention to the letters.

 

- I would like to talk to you –the King changed his weight from one foot to the other. It was a pleasant afternoon, after days in the desert they were enjoying a warm, but not hot as hell, weather and the soft moist breeze from the river made them all feel relax and a little sleepy. 

 

- Sure, about what? –Alexander didn’t answer immediately. He took a moment to admire his hipparch his magnificent profile and his hair, combed in a ponytail, sliding like a brush of silkiness through his left shoulder. His cheeks were slightly pink, thanks to the hot weather, and a few thin damped locks were attached to his right cheek and neck. 

 

- I want to talk about the kiss –he said the right words. Hephaistion left the letter in his hands, and turned to look at him.

 

- All right, I’m listening.

 

Alexander sat down on the ground, at his side, taking his time before speaking again. This was his opportunity to start doing things right and he wasn’t going to spoil it.

 

- I’m sorry for trying to kiss you and also for yelling at you –he said in a deep calm voice, looking so different from the man the hipparch had seen the last time—You are right about me. I was blaming you for losing your memory; I was selfish. 

 

Hephaistion looked at him a little suspicious. Since he had “met” the King, this was the first time he saw him so…calm; not talking, as if he were delivering a monolog, about them and their beautiful relationship so alike the one of Achilles and Patroklus, or shouting and yelling angrily, like a mad man. 

 

- Thank you –said his beloved—I accept you apology –he was going to return to his letters when the King took his hands tenderly between his own.

 

- I would really like to spend time with you –he said, holding his gaze.

 

- What for? To keep telling me what a wonderful relationship we had and how I spoiled it all when I lost my memory? –Hephaistion’s tone was hard but Alexander couldn’t blame him, it had been his fault after all.

 

- I want you to get to know me –the King’s answer took him by surprise, this was new.

 

- I don’t know –whispered his hipparch, the force of the blond’s voice and the intensity of his eyes had overwhelmed him for a moment. 

 

- You don’t want to give me a chance? Why? –Alexander wanted to know, still keeping his emotions at bay.

 

- Because I don’t trust you –said his beloved with all honesty—At some point you always lose your temper.

 

- Phai, I give you my word that this is not going to happen again –said the King, meaning every word—I want to be your friend –those had been the most difficult words he had ever uttered in his life. His friend? After the hipparch had been his everything?

 

Hephaistion wasn’t sure of what to think, but his instincts told him Alexander was honest, besides, his uneven eyes where so full with love, something he hadn’t noticed before because the blond had been so angry, that he soon found himself nodding slowly.

 

 - Fine, lets be friends then.

 

- Thank you –the King’s eyes settled on the letters resting on his hipparch’s lap, reluctantly letting his hands— What are you doing?

 

- It will sound silly but…I’m checking my papers, letters, notes, messages –Hephaistion sighed—You don’t know what is like, I mean, I not only have to meet again my friends and family, I also have to “meet” myself, get to know who I am...or who I was. 

 

- Don’t say that. You are you, just a little more confused than usual –Alexander smiled—What have you found so far? 

 

- Well –Hephaistion checked the letters, passing one after the other—I have a very loving family –he smiled—And my mom writes very often to know if I’m eating well.

 

- Your mother is an excellent cook and she is always looking after you.

 

- That’s what Lys, Aki, Demetrios and Nick say –the hipparch continued looking at his letters when one in particular caught Alexander’s attention.

 

- What’s this? –the King took the letter with a very weary seal he had seen a long time ago—This is a letter from Memnon –he said feeling again that burning jealousy taking control over him, like a monster under the spell of the full moon.

 

- Who is Memnon? –asked Hephaistion while Alexander read the letter the mercenary General had sent Hephaistion long, long time ago.

 

- Was, he was one of my enemies –answered the King while his eyes moved along the lines of Memnon’s handwriting. 

 

- So…that makes me a traitor? –the hipparch asked with all calm, but the King didn’t answer, he continued reading while his jealousy kept getting worst.

 

…Our conversations during your captivity with me are one of my most precious memories…After my family you are the second thought in my mind…how I wish you had accepted my proposal of staying with me…I think your King is dangerous…I don't think I would be able to forget you, not now not ever…I truly hope that your King is worthy of your love and devotion, but my heart tells me he is not…

 

He almost crumpled the letter. Why Hephaistion had never told him about THIS letter? But the answer was so obvious that hit him as hard as a rock: because he was going to be furious. Alexander took a deep breath, repeating like a mantra: Memnon is dead, Memnon is dead, Memnon is dead…Until he felt better.

 

- No, you weren’t a traitor –Alexander handed him the letter, watching the paper as if he wanted to set it on fire—Memnon was in love with you. 

 

- Mm –the hipparch read the letter and smiled—He appeared to be a good guy.

 

- Hardly –the King muttered, making Hephaistion laugh amused.

 

- Why did you hate him? –his beloved rested the elbow on his thigh and his face against the back of his hand.

 

- Because he was in love with you and you…liked him –Alexander grumbled.

 

- So, you were jealous?

 

- No! I’m a King, why would I be jealous of a merc without honor? –Hephaistion laughed again.

 

- I would have never imagined you were a jealous person –said the hipparch—You look so…sure about yourself, so confident even arrogant. 

 

- Well, appearances can be deceiving.

 

They fell silent but, for once, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, this time the hipparch was enjoying the King’s company.

 

- Sire! –one of the royal pages came running—Sire, your presence is require at the river.

 

Alexander sighed, all was going so well…Maybe he could stay a little longer, let the people at the river wait! He had more important things to do. But no. At the end he stood up, shaking his head. He didn’t want to rush things with his beloved and everything had gone so well that he didn’t want to ruin it. It would be better to wait. 

 

- I suppose we’ll have to talk later –Alexander said. 

 

- It was nice to talk to you –the King smiled and left him.

 

Little by little but he would win his beloved back.

 

XXX

 

It had become a constant by now that, every time Alexander moved his forces, Bessus was seized with a fit of hysteria. The so-called Artaxerxes IV had been so sure that the invader would never be able to cross the Oxus River that, when he knew the Macedonian conqueror was approaching he was about to suffer a stroke, his right eye kept twitching unhealthily. It would have been funny if the situation weren’t so serious.

 

Bessus yelled for half and hour that this was impossible, how could have Alexander crossed the Oxus in so little time? But by now, all his men were tired of him, of his hysterical ranting, the fact that he always spat while he talked, and his incompetence as both: as a leader and as a military commander. Every single one of his decisions had ended in disaster and this wasn’t going to be the exception. It was time for his troops to find someone else to follow in their war against the barbarian.  

 

- It’s decided –said Spitamenes to Dataphernes, another man from Sogdhiana. Both hidden under the shelter that gave them the darkness of that moonless night—We’ll place Bessus under arrest, he had proven to be a fool enough times already, and there is no need to have him among us, he outlasted his utility.

 

Dataphernes nodded, forgetting that his fellow conspirator couldn’t see him.

 

- That would be easy, everybody is sick of him –he said with contempt—The hard part is, what do we do with him? 

 

Spitamenes gave him a horrible smile.

 

- That’s easy, there is nothing Bessus fears more than the Barbarian King –he said—Let’s deliver him to the invader, then.

 

Dataphernes laughed amuse.

 

- I would hate to be your enemy, Spitamenes –he said, crossing his arms— But it’s a good plan as any.

 

- I’ll give the order then.

 

XXX

 

Hephaistion woke up when he heard noise inside his brother’s tent. He didn’t remember falling asleep; he had told Achilles a bed time story and then he returned to his own room, at some point, he must have surrendered himself into Morpheus’ arms and felt a little dizzy and disoriented, until he heard the noise again. The hipparch took the dagger hidden under his pillow and stood up, slowly, walking with all stealth not letting that a single sound betrayed him.

 

A man was standing near the table, his back on Hephaistion and scarcely illuminated by a couple of oil lamps, but the hipparch recognized him immediately.

 

- Zeus, Hades and Poseidon! What are you bloody doing in the darkness? –Nikandros jumped scared when he turned and found his brother hidden in the shadows, his blade reflecting the yellow light of the lamps.

 

- I didn’t mean to scare you –Hephaistion sheathed his dagger while the lochagos left his cloak on a chair—I heard a noise and thought it was an intruder.

 

- You walk like a cat, without making a freaking sound –the lochagos left his belt also on the chair, but when he was going to untie his breastplate...

 

- Let me help you with that –his brother didn’t argue and the hipparch helped him—Why did you come back this late? –Hephaistion wanted to know.

 

- Meeting with the King –answered Nikandros, he was so tired and all his muscles complained when the hipparch untied his breastplate—Since I’m in charge of your unit I also have to attend the military staff meetings –he yawned.

 

- You know? You could teach me what were my obligations –said Hephaistion, undressing him—I’m not invalid and I get bore doing nothing.

 

- Ask your lover, if he agrees you would make me the happiest of men –the lochagos yawned again.

 

Nikandros closed his eyes for a moment, who would have imagined that being hipparch of the hetairoi cavalry were so difficult? Just when he had thought he was going to be able to sleep, away from her daughters, this had to happen. He rubbed his eyes and then, he felt the hipparch embracing him from behind, his arms around his waist and his head resting on his shoulder. That woke him up completely. He could feel his brother’s body pressed against him, his long gold-bronze hair tickling his neck and his breathing, slow and calm. For a long moment neither moved, they just stayed there. Nikandros was overwhelmed by the warmth of Hephaistion’s body and the force of that embrace, so full with a heartbreaking need for love and the urge to find solace in another person’s body. 

 

Had his brother always being like this? Had this being a Hephaistion that only Alexander knew? Or was his malady the cause of this present behavior? The lochagos had never being a loving person, the one that whisper words of everlasting love in his lover’s ear, the one that swore by all the Gods that he would take down the moon and the stars only to see his loved one smile. That, and the fact that, this was his brother had him utterly lost and confused.  

 

So far he had only told Alexander about the hipparch’s unexpected confession, he didn’t dare to say it to someone else, it would make all of this real and more dangerous, it would be...  Slowly and awkwardly, he put his hand over the arm surrounding his waist. Hephaistion’s skin was creamy and soft just like he had imagined so long, long ago that he had almost forgotten.

 

- Phai –Nikandros’ voice was barely a whisper—This is not right and you know it.

 

- Why? –asked hipparch, like a child who doesn’t understand why can’t he eat candies before dinner—Don’t you like me?

 

The lochagos sighed, his hand still over Hephaistion’s arm.

 

- You are my brother –answer Nikandros hoping that this explained everything. He was befuddled and felt unable to face him. He took a deep breath and continued—I truly don’t know how to explain this to you, I…—why was so difficult to say this?— I  can’t like you, I’m unable to do it…—the lochagos puffed his cheeks out—Listen, I know you are er- handsome and everything, but, do you really want to know what I think when I look at you? –Hephaistion nodded and his brother could feel his cheek brushing his shoulder making him shudder—I think “Sweet Aphrodite! Why couldn’t I being the one who inherit those looks if we both have the same parents?!”

 

The hipparch fell silent for a moment, deciding if it was a good idea to say what he was thinking or if it would be better just to keep his thought for himself.

 

- Nick, do you want to know what I think? –his tone was so serious that Nikandros was taken aback. This time, he turned to look at him. 

 

- Yes, tell me.

 

- Why do you think I insist so much that I can’t feel you are really my brother?

 

That was truly a great question. Hephaistion could have amnesia but he was not stupid, he was one of the most intelligent persons the lochagos knew and one thing that had intrigued him since the day his brother said he liked him, was: why did he have this idea about him? So far, the hipparch was in peace with the idea that Achilles was his son, Lysanias his brother and Demetrios his cousin, but, why couldn’t he accept that he was his brother too? What was he doing wrong? 

 

- Honestly, I would love to –Nikandros answered. 

 

- It’s very simple Nick –answered Hephaistion, holding the lochagos’ green eyes, the same eyes of the mother he couldn’t remember—You don’t behave like Lys, you treat me different.

 

- What are you talking about?! –exclaimed his brother, feeling a little nervous and that was worsening his temper—I have always behaved in the same way around you!

 

- Then it’s true what I suspect –the hipparch insisted— You like me.  

 

Nikandros was sure he would die from a heart attack, it was not healthy for him to have this kind of surprises so often.

 

- WHAT?! Where did you get that idea?

 

- In the way you look at me, and how do you behave…—the hipparch took his hand to his forehead, choosing his words carefully—You are always looking for an excuse to touch me, from a very simple brush while you walk at my side, to caress my hair when I sleep with you.

 

- Phai, you are out of your mind! –said the lochagos tapping his own head with his index finger. He was furious, he felt exposed and vulnerable, confused and angry, like someone caught doing something really embarrassing and wrong. He took his cloak and left the tent.

 

Maybe this time I went too far –thought Hephaistion.

 

XXX

 

Nikandros walked without direction around the camp, since there wasn’t signs of an enemy army nearby the atmosphere was relax, but that didn’t mean that Alexander had neglected the security, as always, sentries were posted and the camp was surrounded by strong walls and a palisade. It was late but many soldiers were still up attending to their duties, some knew the lochagos and shouted a greeting or a very rude and vulgar joke when he passed but Nikandros was in no mood for this. 

 

He had never been the philosopher type, for the elder son of Amyntor life was simple and practical, he never bothered himself with questions like: “who am I?” or “What am I doing here?” He was Nikandros son of Amyntor and was in the Macedonia army to become rich. As simple as that. In all his 32 years he had always known what he wanted, who were his friends and who his enemies, and could never understand why Hephaistion always thought so much about...well, about everything! His concepts of right and wrong were strongly marked, making him something a very closed minded person for certain things.

 

In the lochagos’ opinion life was quite easy, you just had to take what you wanted, loved your family and protect your country, it was you the one who complicated things. Things were always like this for Nikandros except in one case: his brother Hephaistion. It had been so long since the last time he thought about this, and wasn’t happy having to face his ancient dilemma again.

 

He wasn’t good dealing with dilemmas of any kind.

 

When he married Vashti Nikandros thought all of this had been left behind, he loved Vashti and care for her, but now…Maybe his problem was that he never talked about this, but he wasn’t used to talk about his problems, he wasn’t a woman for the Gods’ sake! But, what was his dilemma? The lochagos stopped when he reached the walls of the camp, there he spotted a solitary dark place near the corner and sat down, his back against the wall and his knees bent up. He threw his head back and hit the wall a couple of times. 

 

Have you ever thought about bedding Hephaistion?

 

For the sake of argument, what would you say?

 

My brother doesn't look like yours! But if he did, I would have stayed home more often, especially during winter nights

 

Nikandros remembered Ptolemy’s party and the King and his companions teasing. He had been furious at that time, but why? He had to face the answer he had always denied, because Nikandros had indeed thought in the possibility of bedding Hephaistion. The first time had been long ago, when his brother turned 12 years old. He was so beautiful! Like a walking piece or art, so innocent and delicate, not like a girl but not a man either, he had been 17 at that time, and he remembered looking for any excuse to touch Hephaistion, just like now, sometimes a delicate brush of the hands while passing, but more often he used to wrestle with him, throwing his brother over the bed and trapping him under his weight until Hephaistion asked for mercy.

 

But that wrong, and Nikandros had only to think about what would his parents do if he bedded his own brother and all the heat in his body cooled in a heart beat. He was sick for thinking like this about his own brother, but he couldn’t help it, why the Gods had punished him? He had the most handsome man on the whole world at his side, Hephaistion’s beauty was like the one of a sunset, it could make you cry, moved by such perfection, but he was his brother!

 

The hipparch was the reason why he had slept with so many women, and it had worked…until now. The lochagos had never been jealous, on the contrary, when Hephaistion became Alexander’s eromenos he was relief, because his brother was no longer available, and he was truly glad watching him with Alexander. He wanted Hephaistion to be happy and, if he had bedded him when he was a teenager, he would have made his brother miserable, and he loved him too much for that.

 

But now…Nikandros sighed. It wasn’t only his brother’s beauty, it was also the feeling of belonging, to know that they had a special bond, that made Hephaistion so attractive to him, the knowing that, even if the world ended tomorrow, they would still be brothers and that, somehow, meant a lot for him.

 

For once, his philosophy of “taking what he wanted” was of no use and he was utterly lost. But, why not? Why not take what he wanted? His father and grandfather were dead, his mother was far, far ways, his brother had no memory and was no longer an innocent child, it could be so easy and it was such a great temptation. Temptation, it was the force that would drive the man into chaos…The lochagos shook his head, it was wrong, he knew it and the best thing he could do was to forget everything and avoid being left alone with Hephaistion. 

 

XXX

 

- I want to talk to you, Phai –asked Alexander 2 days later.

 

- Sure, what is it? –Hephaistion left the brush on the ground. Since he didn’t have much to do he took care of his favorite horse himself, and that morning, after taking breakfast with Achilles, he was grooming and pampering his war stallion, a personal gift from the King.

 

- I received a letter from Spitamenes –the blond explained. 

 

- I feel very stupid asking this but, do I know him? –asked Hephaistion, walking at the King’s side. Alexander laughed.

 

- No, you don’t, in fact neither do I, until now –he answered making his hipparch feel much better, it truly affected Hephaistion every time he heard: “but you knew this guy years ago”. 

 

- Who is this man?

 

- My spies said he is a Sogdhian Baron –the King explained—He has been Bessus’ allied from a long time but, apparently, they had some sort of argument because he is offering to hand Bessus, alive, to me if I send a Macedonian officer to them.  

 

-Mm, it could be a trap, but, on the other hand, only a fool would let pass an opportunity like this –said his beloved—You could send a small force with your officer to meet this Sogdhian guy. 

 

- I thought that too –Alexander smiled. Yes, definitely, his Hephaistion was there, he just had to bring him back.

 

- I could go, if you let me…

 

- No! –that erased the King’s smile—No, that’s absolutely out of question.

 

The hipparch frowned.

 

- Why? I’m tired of being here doing nothing and I can fight.

 

- I know you can fight –answered the King—And I know that there is not a single man alive stronger than you but this, this could be a trap and I won’t risk your life.

 

Hephaistion held his gaze.

 

- You truly care about me –he said in a whisper, as if this were the greatest revelation of the Century.

 

- Of course I do, I told you before, I love you –he sweeten his voice and, this time, his words stirred something inside the hipparch—I’ll send Ptolemy with 3 Ilai.

 

- Fine, but still –he took Alexander by the arm—I want to be useful, I’m sick of being all day at my tent doing nothing.

 

The King fell silent. This was definitely something the old Hephaistion would have said, and then, he nodded slowly.

 

- I understand, you can help me with my paperwork –he said— I have a pile of letters waiting to be answered.

 

And, in this way, I can have you near me –the blond thought, smiling.

 

- I can do that –answered the hipparch, not very excited—But I was hoping to do something more interesting, why can’t I go back to my unit?

 

- Phai, trust me, I know how you feel, but its too soon to go back to your duties –the King explained but his beloved wasn’t happy—Let’s do something, wait a little longer, a couple of weeks tops, and then Nick can teach you what you need to go back to the hetairoi cavalry.

 

Hephaistion smiled.

 

- You have a deal.

 

XXX

 

Days had passed since Ptolemy left to meet Spitamenes, but that didn’t mean the army wasn’t static, patiently waiting for his return. The King hopped for the best but prepared himself for the worst when he sent Ptolemy, who now was one of his somatophylakes after Demetrios execution for his participation in the Philotas’ affair. Thankfully this time the march for the Macedonian army had been a very calm one, a good change that served also to ease the men’s nervousness. The Thessalians and King Philip’s veterans were now on their way back home and that had been a blow to the rest, making them nostalgic, a little envious but, more importantly, they felt vulnerable to an enemy attack without the Thessalians.

 

One night, after the camp was ready, found Hephaistion sitting in the King’s desk answering his correspondence. He was amazed to see how lazy was Alexander for this, it was clear he hated paperwork, and there the hipparch found letters, covered in dust, that had waited for months to get an answer.

 

- Phai –the hipparch lifted his head when he heard Alexander’s voice—It’s late go to rest, you can finish tomorrow. 

 

- Oh! It’s fine, I don’t mind to stay up late –answered Hephaistion but the blond kept watching him.

 

- Is there something wrong? You have been staying until very late lately –the King approached him and sat down at his side—Its almost as if you didn’t want to go to your brother’s tent. 

 

Hephaistion smiled.

 

- You truly know me as well as you always claim –he said, leaning back against the chair—I have a…problem with Nick.

 

- What happened? –Alexander was intrigued, especially after what Nikandros had told him, and his morbid curiosity was picked.

 

His beloved didn’t answer immediately. Should he tell the King? He needed to talk to someone about this and Alexander had proven to be a good friend, after their tumultuous start, so, why not?

 

- Nick is…I think he is angry with me after what I told him –he said at last.

 

- What did you tell him?

 

- That he likes me –said Hephaistion with simplicity.

 

- I’m sorry, what? –for a moment the King though he hadn’t heard correctly.

 

- I think Nick likes me –the hipparch repeated—But he was really angry when I said that…Alexander?

 

- What? –asked the King absently.

 

- Are you listening to me? –his beloved frowned.

 

- Yes, of course –said the King, trying to come out from his shock—Phai, where did you get that idea? Nick is your brother and in all the years I have to know you he has never done something that makes me think he could be... 

 

But he didn’t finish that. At Ptolemy’s party Alexander had truly considered the possibility that his lochagos felt something more than brotherly love for Hephaistion, but he hadn’t thought again about this until now.

 

- What? Do you know something? Please, tell me –his beloved insisted.

 

The blond sighed.

 

- Once we were at a party –the King answered after a long pause—We were joking and Meleager asked Nick if he would sleep with you.

 

- And? –asked Hephaistion with interest.

 

- Nick was furious and he said he would never do that –Alexander’s answer left him thinking for a very long time.

 

- Was he nervous? –his beloved wanted to know.

 

- Yes.

 

- A little ashamed?

 

- Yes.

 

- And very angry?

 

- Yes, why do you ask? –but Hephaistion didn’t answer, he stood up and looked for his cloak.

 

- I have to go, I promise I’ll tell you more as soon as I can –and with that, the hipparch was gone, leaving behind a very confused King.

 

XXX

(1) Steven Saylor. Roma Sub Rosa: The Judgment of Caesar, p 182

(2) Peter Green. Alexander of Macedon, p 354