CHAPTER 122

 

Between Queen Cleopatra VII and her son Caesarion

30 BC Alexandria

 

“Tell me about you and Antonius. As honestly as you can. I’m not a boy anymore in any way.”

Jerked out of her grief, she stared at him in astonishment. “Caesarion! You mean there have been women?”

He laughed “Would you rather there had been men?”

“Men were good enough for Alexander the Great, but in that respect Romans are very strange. Your father would be glad if your lovers were woman certainly.”

“Then he has nothing to complain of.”(1)

 

-o-o-o-

 

It supposed a great effort for Hephaistion to open his eyes, they felt so heavy, his body felt tired in a strange way, as if all his energy had abandoned him and the simplest action seemed like a great achievement. His eyelashes trembled and it took him a while until the blurriness vanished and he found his old friend the ceiling. But this was not his own ceiling. Was he still dreaming? For a moment he thought he was trapped in that strange dream of images, sounds and situations completely incomprehensible for him, but, when he tried to move, a sharp pain ran through his body coming from his left arm.

 

A cruel reminder that he was awake and very much alive.

 

Then he started to remember, several images and sounds without order, flashing before his eyes. The battle: shouts, voices, screams floating in the air, the smell of blood, the dust covering everything like mist. The attack to the camp: chaos everywhere, terrified people running everywhere, the Scythians, his wound, Achilles kidnapped...he closed his eyes for a moment and saw clearly the man riding in front of him, his sword soaring through the air before embedding itself in his enemy’s back. Darius’ pursuit during the night…the pain, the excruciating pain coming from his arm, that was all that he remembered of the night chase…then…he came back next morning and, then what? His sister was waiting for him…

 

Phai…grandpa is dead…

 

Is this possible? –for a moment he didn’t know if he had dreamed it or if this had really happened, it was possible that he had imagined it? Had he really seen his sister before he fainted? But then…

 

Phai…I'm very proud of you…And also…of you…Nick…

 

How could it be?…It wasn’t right, but, somehow, something inside him told him it was true. It felt so strange to know that someone who had been with him all his life, that was always there when he had needed him the most, was gone…just like his father. The idea of never seeing a dear one again was so terrible that Hephaistion found himself in shock, without tears, as if the pain were so horrible, so big that had taken a form for itself leaving him empty…He had cried for his father, and now, even if he didn’t understand why, he had no more tears for his grandfather.

 

For long moments he just stayed there; the world seem a strange place, when he had closed his eyes his reality was one and now…He felt an increasing throbbing pain in his arm; now that he was fully awake the pain was worst, merciless and constant, threatening to devoured him. He turned to see the wound, his arm was heavily wrapped in bandages, but, when he lifted his eyes, he found Alexander. Sat on a chair at his side, his head resting on his arms crossed over the bed, deeply asleep and snoring.

 

Had the King spent the night there? Taking care of him? That thought made him smile, feeling a warmth inside that helped him to feel better, as long as Alexander was at his side everything was right.  

 

Hephaistion moved his right arm to caress his blond hair, it was so wonderful to have his King at his side, to wake up and find his handsome face, he had no words to describe the way this made him feel. After several turbulent days, days of great anguish, days of uncertainty, days walking with death at his side, days full with blood…now, he was rewarded with a perfect morning. He brushed slightly the locks falling over Alexander’s face and that tender touch made the golden arc of his eyelashes tremble.

 

The King stretched lazily, moving his arms over the blankets, taking a deep breath, and lifted his head, brushing his hair back and managing to make it stand up as if he had been given an electric shock, which made Hephaistion laugh.

 

Alexander opened his eyes, he thought he was dreaming when he heard that musical laugh that he loved so much, and felt as the happiest man on the planet when he saw those dark gray eyes on him.

 

- Phai! –exclaimed the new Great King as a small child before the biggest and most wonderful birthday present.

 

- Joy to you Alex –he said with a husky low voice and the King climbed to the bed, embraced him with all his forces, taking care in not hurting his arm, which lay limply at his side.

 

- By all the Gods! You are awake, oh thank you father Zeus –he exclaimed, his cheek against his beloved’s. He straightened himself and looked at Hephaistion, brushing his hair with infinite love and care—How do you feel?

 

- Thirsty, and my arm hurts –he said, trying to sit down and failing miserably.

 

- Let me do it –Alexander passed his arm behind his back and helped him to sit. His beloved felt so fragile, so weak and that broke his heart. The King arranged the pillows to make him more comfortable, covered him with the blankets and then, he called his page and asked for water. 

 

Hephaistion took that moment to inspect the room, they were in a house, whose house? That was a good question, and where? Maybe they were still at Arbela, but as soon as he thought that possibility he dismissed the idea, knowing Alexander he wouldn’t be surprised if he were told they were already at Babylon. The King mixed the water with some herbs and gave his beloved the cup.

 

- Drink this, it will help with the pain –the General didn’t ask what it was, he trusted Alexander and drank it all. It tasted horrible, but he didn’t even flinch.

 

- Where are we? –Hephaistion gave him the cup back, and the King filled it with water.

 

- It’s a long story –his beloved drank and asked for more water—You slept for 3 days, Phai. I would love to wait at Arbela until you recovered but I couldn’t waste time, so we moved as soon as the funeral games were over…Are you hungry?  

 

Before he could answer his stomach did it for him, growling like a savage beast and making the King laugh. Hephaistion continued talking as if there hadn’t been any interruptions, preserving his dignity.

 

- And what happened next? Did you find Darius? –the General closed his eyes for a moment, he felt dizzy and very weak, and his stomach wasn’t helping, hurting as if he were suffering cramps.

 

- Cyneas! –the King called his page again, and the boy appeared immediately—Bring the General something to eat.

 

- Yes, sire –and Cyneas ran to obey.

 

- No, I haven’t found Darius –Alexander continued, sitting at his side, on the bed—I have no idea of where could he be, but for now my priority is to take the richest Persian cities. We are heading to Babylon, and, finally answering your question, we are at Mennis –the King smiled—You would never guess what this people showed me last night. 

 

- What? –asked Hephaistion, checking the bandages of his left arm trying to see his wound, but the King took his wrist with force.

 

- Stop doing that –he scolded his beloved—You are going to hurt yourself.

 

- But I want to see the wound –said Hephaistion like a child.

 

- Honestly Phai, sometimes you behave like Aki. Its an arrow wound, nothing you haven’t seen before –Alexander rebuked his General, who just puffed his cheeks out.

 

- You were saying, what did this people show you?

 

- Near here is this place with a peculiar lake with a dark liquid, and last night the inhabitants sprinkled it all along the street leading to my quarters here and then set a torch to the ground, “so that with the speed of thought the flame darted to the other end, and the street was one continuous fire”(1) –Alexander explained. 

 

- Sounds interesting.

 

Before you ask, yes, the mysterious liquid was petroleum, quiet funny to think about this in these modern nights, don’t you think? At my time it was a marvelous mysterious thing of course. 

 

Cyneas came back with soup, bread, cheese and heavily watered wine. It wasn’t the best food Hephaistion had in his life but after 3 days sleeping it tasted like glory. He felt much better after eating and he even regained some color on his cheeks. He felt less pain after drinking Alexander’s beverage but couldn’t move his left arm. 

 

- And Aki? –he asked while the King cut slices of cheese for him.

 

- Fine, but he was very scared, he thought you had died –said Alexander, remembering the pale, scared boy crying—He is now with Kleitos; he was quite impressed when he heard that Aki had faced the Scythians instead of running away, but now Kleitos has the idea that he has to train our boy harshly so his small victory won’t make him believe he is invincible.

 

- Faced the Scythians? –Hephaistion had no idea of what was he talking about.

 

- Aki fought against one Scythian, Phai –the King explained, exuding pride—He told me he didn’t want to run away, so he took a sword and fought.

 

The General smiled. It had been extremely dangerous but he felt very proud of his son in that moment, no doubt that Kleitos was impressed.

 

- Alex?

 

- What is it my love?

 

- My grandfather died, didn’t he? –the King stopped cutting the cheese and lifted his head to look at him.

 

- Yes –Hephaistion nodded—I’m sorry.

 

- Don’t be, I’m sure he was happy, he died after a great battle –said his beloved, he was sad but not devastated. The King took his hand and caressed the back with his thumb.

 

- He was cremated with the rest of my officers who died at Gaugamela –said Alexander, feeling he owed his beloved an explanation—His ashes are on their way to Macedonia.

 

Hephaistion cleared his throat.

 

- Grandpa would have liked that…I’m only sorry for my mom –said the General, looking at his empty plate—Bad news for her again.

 

They fell silent and Alexander gave him a slice of cheese. For a moment Hephaistion eat in silence, until…

 

- I’m sorry –said the King suddenly, catching his beloved’s attention—I didn’t notice you were injured after the battle, I shouldn’t have taken you with us and…

 

Hephaistion kissed him; it felt so good to kiss him after all he had been through, it was the best remedy to his pain.

 

- Alex, it was my decision not to tell you about my wound –he said softly against his lips—My place is at your side, and you know it.

 

- Phai –he cupped his face in his hands—Your stubbornness in not sharing your problems almost cost you your life. If you truly mean what you say that your place is at my side, then take better care of yourself –he said with strong voice— Is that clear?

 

- Yes, sire. 

 

Now it was the King’s turn to kiss him.

 

- You are going to be the end of me –he whispered.

 

Even if Alexander wanted to stay all day at his beloved’s side, he had to leave him during the afternoon. Every day he received not only his officers with news, but also letters and envoys from Persian nobles how sought to gain the invader’s favor. It was clear for all that now it was the Macedonian King who had the fate of the Persian Empire in his hands.

 

It was then, when the King left him, that his son, brothers, sister, uncle and cousin came to see him. Achilles had been the first one to arrive; as soon as Kleitos’ training finished he ran at his father’s side, embracing him with all his forces and driving the air out of the General’s lungs, too happy to see Hephaistion was recovering. 

 

- How are you feeling? –asked uncle Althaimenes. Finally they had good news after grandfather Demetrios’ funeral. Uncle Althaimenes had been feeling out of place the last days, every man in the army was euphoric after the battle, they had plundered Darius’ camp finding great treasures, and the prospect of being heading to the famous city of Babylon had them all daydreaming about the wonders they would find there.  

 

But for Althaimenes all of that was meaningless, he had lost his father and his nephew was fighting for his life, what good could be gold for him? He felt with a responsibility, his brother was dead and it was he the one who should take care of his sons and daughter. Now, seeing his nephew much better, he could rest.

 

- Tired –Hephaistion smiled; he looked pale but at least now he was awake and the fever was gone. He had to use a sling, which was terribly uncomfortable, but even he admitted that, without it, the pain was unbearable.

 

- Does your arm hurt? –asked Demetrios.

 

- If I don’t move it, no, but if I try then it hurts terrible –the General explained—And I can’t feel 2 fingers, they are numbed; but according to doctor Philip that would pass.

 

- Phai you are an idiot! –exclaimed Berenike suddenly, taking her brother aback—Why you didn’t say anything about your wound? Doctor Philip said you should have come straight to him after the battle and instead you went to pursuit Darius all night.

 

Hephaistion sighed; he knew this was coming.

 

- I’m sorry, all right? It won’t happen again –he knew his sister was still very sad for their grandfather’s death, Berenike didn’t want to lose more members of her family and it was pointless to argue with her. She would never understand his reasons, and he was too tired to try to explain.

 

- That’s not enough, I want your word –said Berenike stubbornly—Give me your word that you would be more careful in the future.

 

His sister held his gaze.

 

- You know, Phai –said Nikandros, his arms crossed behind his head—Better do as Eni says. She made us all swear to her that we are going to take better care of ourselves.

 

- Fine, you have my word –Berenike nodded and Hephaistion laughed softly—You are worst than Alexander.

 

- I can’t believe that you, of all the people, were injured like this –said Lysanias, sitting at his side on the bed.

 

- I was careless, Lys, it can happen to anyone –said the General—I didn’t see those arrows coming –he made a pause and pinched his brother’s arm—But you look good after your first battle.

 

Lysanias blushed.

 

- I was very scared –he admitted.

 

- We all were –said Demetrios—But at some point I just stop thinking about the fear and concentrate on the enemy. Do you know what happened with those cataphracts?

 

- Many ran away –said Nikandros, stealing fruit from his brother’s plate—And others were captured, I heard that cataphracts’ riders are noblemen, so we can ask for ransom; don’t you think? 

 

- Son –said uncle Althaimenes to Hephaistion—There is something I want to tell you.

 

They all fell silent. Everybody, including Achilles, knew what uncle Althaimenes was going to say. Lysanias moved away and the General just stared at his uncle not know why the sudden change in their mood.

 

- What is it?

 

- Before he died my father mentioned you –Hephaistion felt his heart beating faster—He –uncle Athaimenes took something at his side, covered in a dark cloth, and approached the bed—He wanted you to have his swords.

 

Uncle Althaimenes left the swords on the mattress and the General stared at them not knowing what to say, feeling a knot in his throat. He swallowed several times; he couldn’t speak and knew he was close to tears.

 

- He was proud of you, Phai –Hephaistion only managed to nod, and touch the swords with a trembling hand.

 

14 days to reach Babylon

 

To Publius Cornelius Scipio, from Hephaistion son of Amyntor. Hail!

 

It has been a while since the last time I have an opportunity to write to you, I apologize for that. I received your last letter a few days before the final battle against the Great King and had no time to answer. I know you want to know all the details of the battle of Gaugamela and I will give you the entire chronicle in a moment.

 

I was injured at the battle and now Alexander didn’t let me to leave my bed, which is starting to be annoying, but I don’t complain. I don’t feel good enough to ride so I guess I’ll have to suffer the tedious wagon for more days.

 

Suddenly my King has become extremely popular, every Persian noble is seeking an audience with him, but none of them is more persistent than Mazaeus. Do you remember him? I told you he was the one who tried to stop the construction of the bridges at the Euphrates River. Well, he is the satrap of Babylon and has assured Alexander that he wants to surrender the city to him with one condition, he wants to keep his post. 

 

Alexander doesn’t trust him, even if this is a great offer, take Babylon peacefully with its treasure intact, but my King thinks its too good to be true, so he hasn’t confirmed Mazaeus in his post as satrap and Mazaeus keeps sending him letters and envoys. We are still far from the city so Alexander has time to think this carefully…

 

- Phai, do you know what happened with Nick’s twins? –Hephaistion stopped writing when his sister entered the room, he put his parchment and reed pen aside.

 

- No, what happened?

 

- Ayesha died –said Berenike, she looked very beautiful with her pale blue dress and her long black hair combed in several braids—During the attack a Cadusian attacked both girls, they defended themselves but the man stabbed Ayesha. Nick found them and, you are not going to believe it, he saved them. Ayesha died but now Vashti is behaving like an angel with Nick.

 

- How come? –asked the General frowning and his sister shrugged.

 

- I think she is grateful with him, after all, the Cadusians came to “rescue” the Persians and one of them killed her sister –Berenike explained.

 

They fell silent for moment.

 

- Eni, I want to talk to you –asked Hephaistion. The army had stopped near a city and his sister had insisted in taking care of him, in Berenike’s words the slave who was in charge of the General’s meals didn’t knew how to cook, so she had prepared his meals, using their mother’s especial recipes.

 

Berenike wasn’t as good cook as her mother, but she did a much better job than the King’s present cooks, which was to say a lot, besides, the General was grateful to be able to taste again his mother’s recipes.

 

- Of course, about what? –asked his sister, taking away the empty plates.

 

- Come, sit down at my side.

 

Berenike smiled and obeyed. It had been a while since the last time they had an opportunity to talk alone, they used to do it a lot when they were little and she missed that time.

 

- What do you want to talk about? –she asked with curiosity, and for a moment the General fell silent, trying to find a way to ask what he had to.

 

- Eni, did you have an affair with Kleitos? –this was the last question Berenike was expecting. She was so sure that her brother was going to ask her something about Alexander or Achilles that, when she heard the question, he got paled and stared at him with eyes wide opened.

 

Hephaistion didn’t like to be so blunt, but after careful consideration he decided it was better to confront his sister with the truth; and her reaction told him everything he needed to know.

 

- How did you…?

 

- Why Eni? –he interrupted her. He didn’t want to explain how was that he knew about this, and that really wasn’t important in this moment—Don’t you love Leon? Has he ill-treated you?

 

His sister shook her head.

 

- Is not that –Berenike answered, and her calm voice surprised her, she didn’t feel the urge to cry and didn’t feel ashamed, it was as if she had finally accepted what was what she really felt—Phai, I love Leon, but I like Kleitos. Leon is very sweet but…Kleitos…he… —she blushed, not knowing if she should tell her brother this, she had only talked with Thais about it—Sometimes Leon can be boring Phai, and with Kleitos you never know what’s going to happen, he is really exciting.

 

- Eni, you are not a teenager anymore –said Hephaistion extremely serious—And you can’t play like this with Leon, besides you have 2…3 children. 

 

- I’m not playing –she fell silent for a moment—I don’t know how to explain it…do you never get bored with Alex? You two have been together for so long that… You never wish to be with someone else?

 

- No –that was an honest answer and one that surprised his sister—I have never felt that way Eni, and I’m sorry if I can’t understand how you feel –he made a pause—Tell me something, do you want to be with Kleitos?

 

- No! Its over Phai, I swear it, it was fun being with him, that’s all, but I want to be with Leon –said Berenike, sure of her words.

 

- Whose your baby’s father, Eni? –Hephaistion trusted his dreams, but he wanted to hear it from his sister’s lips.

 

- I…don’t know for sure –now she felt ashamed— But, I think the child is Leon’s.

 

- You think or you want to believe that? 

 

- Phai, don’t be cruel –said his sister.

 

- I’m not, I only want you to see what could happen if Leon finds out that you slept with Kleitos –said Hephaistion in a tone of voice that reminded her of her late father—You have no way of proving who is your child’s father, Leon would assume is Kleitos’ and then he would be in all his right to divorce you and, who do you think is going to keep the children? –Berenike got pale again—Leon of course, he would send them back to Macedonia with his mother. Both of them and you would lose all your rights over them.

 

- But Amyntas is not his son…

 

- And who knows about that besides he and us? Besides he loves that boy as his own… —the General took his sister’s hand—Eni, I don’t want to scare you, I just want you to understand that you have to start thinking before acting. You are very lucky to have a husband like Leon, no one else would have married you pregnant as you were; do you remember? 

 

- I know all that!

 

- Then behave like a grown up woman –Hephaistion raised his voice—And you have to talk to Kleitos too.

 

- I know –she sighed—Phai?

 

- Mm?

 

- Would you…would you go with me to talk to Kleitos? –that made the General laugh taking his sister aback.

 

- No, Eni.

 

- Why not?

 

- Because you didn’t need my help to sleep with him –Hephaistion knew he was harsh with her, but she truly needed to be scolded. Berenike needed a father not a loving brother who always helped her to cover her mischief.  

 

His sister looked concerned but not angry, she knew that the General was right, but she was scared.

 

- Phai?…Can I ask you something?

 

- Of course –he softened his voice.

 

- If Alex were a woman, and if he were your wife and if he had slept with Kleitos…What would you do? –Berenike watched him with all her attention.

 

- Eni, Leon and I are very different…

 

- I know, its just a hypothetically question –Hephaistion thought for a moment.

 

- And my hypothetical wife likes him because she thinks I’m boring? 

 

- Yes –the General sighed.

 

- What do you mean by “boring”? –Berenike blushed savagely and the General had a good idea of what she meant. He had never thought about his sister’s sex life and the truth was that he wasn’t very comfortable with this.  

 

- Phai, you don’t understand, you have been with Alex all your life, and Kletios…well, he is very skilful, you know –Hephaistion really didn’t want to know more.

 

- Oh, I understand that better than you can imagine –said the General, remembering Memnon’s kisses and intriguing his sister—But coming back to your hypothetical question, I would be very offended, Eni.

 

- But why? She loves you –Berenike insisted.

 

- Apparently not enough –he spoke without thinking and those words hurt Berenike. She had to stop making excuses and face the truth, and for that, she had to talk to Kleitos and then forget about everything. Her brother was right, she had to behave like a grown up woman.

 

XXX

 

(1) Colleen McCullough. Antony and Cleopatra, p 491