CHAPTER 108

 

Hephaistion kept staring at his son wishing that Achilles would disappear at any moment. It was the most bizarre situation of his entire life, he felt trapped between 2 powerful emotions that he thought were impossible to mix: arousal and embarrassment. His whole body was still burning, shuddering under the waves of pleasure that each thrust gave him, but he felt like ice running inside him, watching those innocent uneven eyes on both of them, without understanding the meaning of that scene.

 

Several things happened too fast and at the same moment. The General saw his son almost at the same time the King thrust savagely one last time, moaned loudly, and finally found his release inside him, bending to the front, panting and still holding him by the hips.

 

- Daddy? –Achilles’s voice appeared to be amplified several times, ringing in their ears in an everlasting echo.

 

That single word stopped Alexander so abruptly, that is was as if someone would have hit him. How long have been since the General saw the little Prince standing at the door? Maybe just 3 seconds, but for Hephaistion were like 3 hours, the longest 3 seconds of his life.

 

It was a very bizarre scene. Alexander kneeled behind Hephaistion, fully dressed, his magnificent cloak covering part of his beloved’s back, which served like some kind of censorship, the General completely naked under him with his hips up and Achilles standing a few paces from them. Someone had to say something, and Hephaistion tried to squeeze his brain to find the right words, if there was such thing as “the right words” in a situation like this, but it was Alexander who spoke first. 

 

- What the hell are you doing here? –exclaimed the King alarmed, making the boy to jump scared. He covered his beloved so quickly that he appeared to be extinguishing a fire; he pulled all the sheets and blankets over his General, while arranging his own clothes, moving away and increasing Achilles confusion.

 

- Kallisthenes told me I should come and look for you because we are receiving some envoys…–Hephaistion sat down, feeling like a virgin seeing naked for the first time, and saw with horror how Achilles walked to them.

 

- Get out! –exclaimed Alexander, interrupting his Prince, still panting and, judging by tone of his voice, as embarrassed as his beloved. This was a strange situation for the King because he wasn’t used to feel embarrassment; anger, jealousy, sadness yes, but not embarrassment and he truly didn’t know how to deal with this. He was the all powerful commander and King of the most deadly army in the world, and now, he felt terrible lost in front a 5 years old boy.

 

- Why? –asked Achilles without understanding what had he done wrong. He had been several times in the King’s bedroom, he had even slept with both of them, so, what was the problem now?

 

- Because you shouldn’t be here –the King was raising his voice, he was nervous, but contrary to Hephaistion whose face was so red that it appeared to glow, he was speaking very quickly and loudly. Alexander was one step to be angry, and emotion he knew how to manage, and with which he felt more comfortable.

 

Achilles frowned.

 

- Why not?…What are you doing? –the boy moved his eyes from Alexander to Hephaistion and again to Alexander, trying to figure out why were they acting so weird and what was happening when he arrived.

 

- Nothing –said both at the same time confusing him even more. The King and his General were like 2 scared teenagers whose parents had just found them in bed.

 

The boy crossed his arms in a very good imitation of Hephaistion when he was upset.

 

- You told me that, whenever I have I doubt, I could ask you –said Achilles and both regretted the day they said that.

 

- Yes, and I also told you to knock before coming in –Alexander answered at once.

 

- I knocked but you didn’t answer.

 

Hephaistion puffed out, this was already bad and they were making it worst. 

 

- All right, Aki –said the General, brushing his hair behind his ear and trying to calm down the savage beating of his heart. He was going to regret what he was going to say but it was necessary—What do you want to know?

  

- What were you doing? –the boy insisted. 

 

That question again –thought the General in complete dismay. Alexander opened his mouth to answer but his beloved took him by the arm to stop him. He was sure the King was going to screw things up. 

 

- What did you see? –Alexander saw Hephaistion impressed; he had to admit that was a clever question.

 

- Mm…—Achilles took a moment to think of it, cocking his head—I saw dad over you …—the boy laughed—You looked kind of dumb –Hephaistion puffed again feeling his face burning— And both were making funny noises…dad was screaming like a girl. 

 

Even if the General didn’t want to laugh, he couldn’t restrain himself, even less watching Alexander’s expression of indignity.

 

- I do not scream like a girl –the King complained—Why are you laughing?

 

His beloved shook his head and took a deep breath, he was nervous and his laugh was starting to sound hysterical.

 

- Aki, have you…seen your aunt Eni kissing Leon? –he was sure his son hadn’t seen him and Alexander because he didn’t like to kiss the King in front of the boy.

 

Achilles moved his head up and down.

 

- Yes, and I also saw Kyors kissing Glycon outside the tent at night –that didn’t make the General happy, he would have to talk to Kyros about this.

 

He knew that, since they were living in a military camp, the little Prince was exposed to things that no boy of that age should see: from horrible wounds, acts of cruelty, bad words, to the very cheeky sexual behavior of some of the men. In this he was like Alexander. The royal palace with King Philip’s banquets, which usually ended in orgies, and with Queen Olympias’ ceremonies to the God Dionysus was the worst place for a child, and Alexander had been a very precocious boy.

 

But, even if Hephaistion knew he was naïve, he would try to assure that his son had the most normal childhood he could have in this situation, one like his own with his extremely loving parents. 

 

- Did your aunt say something about that? Kissing, I mean –Hephaistion wanted to know, hopping that his sister could be of some help in this awkward moment. 

 

- Well –Achilles thought for a moment—She said that you kiss someone you love to show how much you love that someone.

 

- Yes, and…well…—Hephaistion stammered—What we were doing was…something similar.

 

The boy frowned.

 

- You weren’t kissing.

 

- No, but, its another way to show that you love someone –said Alexander confusing his Prince even more.

 

- I don’t get it –he shook his head—You love daddy?

 

- Yes, Aki –said the King smiling—Just like your ancestor Achilles loved Patroklus. 

 

- But, uncle Leon told me Achilles and Patroklus were friends, like Cyrus and me –in that moment Alexander wanted to strangle Leonnatos—Do you kiss your friends too?

 

- No, Aki, you don’t kiss your friends on the mouth –said Hephaistion, he was going to have a headache.

 

- Achilles and Patroklus weren’t just friends –the King explained—Patroklus was the most important person for Achilles, he was his lover.

 

- Soooo…they were married?

 

- No –what was Alexander going to do now?—Two men can’t get married.

 

- Why not? –the King ran a hand through his face.

 

- Because it’s not correct.

 

- You are doing something wrong?

 

- No Aki, but you can only marry a woman –said Hephaistion.

 

- I don’t get it –the Prince made a pout and the General smiled.

 

- Listen Aki, I promise you’ll get this when you are older –Hephaistion caressed his head—Now, be a good boy and wait outside.

 

- But…

 

- Achilles, your father gave you an order –said the King, he pampered the boy a lot but something he didn’t tolerate was disobedience. 

 

The little Prince wanted to keep asking but, thanks to Kleitos, he knew when was enough, and he did as he was told, stopping at the entrance to see them one last time.

 

- That was so awkward –Hephaistion sighing in relief.

 

- I’m going to kill the guards –said Alexander, falling on his back once the boy left them alone, closing the door behind him—This is the second time, first Ptolemy and now Aki.

 

- If I can say something in the defense of my men, Ptolemy scared them saying he had an urgent message –said his General laying at his side and cuddling against him amid the rustling of the sheets.

 

- Urgent message my ass, he never told me what he wanted –Hephaistion laughed softly, embracing him.

 

- Oh, I know what he wanted –he said kissing the King’s shoulder. 

 

- Really? What was it?

 

- He made a bet with Kleitos –the General kept talking, a soft whisper, against Alexander’s skin, sliding his lips down his arm while his finger walked over his inner thigh, all the way up under his chiton—Kleitos challenged him to interrupt us in the middle of our love making.

 

- You are kidding me! –exclaimed the King, his cheeks starting to burn when he felt his beloved’s long fingers sliding through his thigh and his wet kisses on his arm. It never ceased to amaze him the power that Hephaistion had over him, and maybe, not even the General himself was aware that, if he wished so, he could easily manipulate him, and not because the King was a fool, but because he loved him so much that he would do anything for him. 

 

- No, I’m not –the General brushed his arm with his nose—Leon told me –he heard Alexander sighing and moaning softly while his hand played in his most intimate part, stripping away all his defenses.

 

The King spread his legs slightly for his General and Hephaistion left a trail of soft kisses through his arm, listening how his breathing quickened.

 

- We should lock the door –Alexander sighed making his beloved laugh.

 

- So, nobody else would hear the almighty King screaming like a girl? –his beloved teased him and Alexander narrowed his eyes.

 

- You are not funny…—but before he could start complaining Hephaistion kissed him, successfully ending with the argument. The General slid over him, still kissing him, until he rested between his legs, and Alexander bent his knees up, feeling his beloved rocking his hips against him, when Eumenes called the King from outside.

 

Both growled angrily.

 

- You know what? –his beloved moved away from him and sat down—Go to receive your envoys and I’ll see you tonight.

 

The King took a moment to think this, seriously considering if he could make them wait more, but, at the end, he shook his head. Eumenes was capable of staying outside his door, waiting like a vulture, and that thought was more than enough to kill anybody’s passion. Alexander sat in front of his General and kissed him one last time before standing up. 

 

- I’ll try to go as soon as I can to your house –he was going to leave when Hephaistion took him by the arm, pulled him and kissed him again, making the King smile against his lips.

 

Your immortality will cost you, you'll have to pay with the life of your dearest…

 

The high priest’s words had had the King extremely silent since they came back from Siwah, he was worried, he couldn’t imagine his life without Hephaistion and he was not willing to sacrifice him. But…in those moments, feeling his lips over his own, his warm breath hitting his skin it was impossible to believe that something could happen to his beloved. 

 

- I love you –said Alexander holding his gaze and Hephaistion kissed him again.

 

- Alex…if you don’t leave now –the General whispered between kisses—I will not be able to let you go.

 

The King laughed softly.

 

Alexander had a very busy day before him. The Athenians delegation came, once again, with the request for the release of their fellow countrymen who had been captured at the battle of the Granicus, but in previous occasions, they hadn’t had any luck and the King had refused to grant their request. Alexander sat listening to the Athenians pleading their cause with Achilles sitting at his right side and Eumenes taking notes at his left. He had insisted in bringing the boy to the audience because, when he was about his age, he had received alone a Persian envoy, that had came to Pella to see King Philip; and he wanted to prepare his Prince to be his worthy successor. 

 

Listening to the endless speech of Diophantus, the King thought how quickly the time had passed. Three years! Three years since the battle of the Granicus, three years since the last time he was at Pella; it wasn’t much time but, for him, it looked like a lifetime. It was as if his life at the royal palace was now something so distant that it appeared to have happened to someone else.

 

His campaign in Thrace, the destruction of Thebes…even the murder of King Philip, everything appeared to have happened many many years ago. 

 

The Chians and Rhodians, for their part, didn’t come with requests but with complains about the Macedonian garrisons left at their cities. The King listened in silence, and, this time, he adopted a very different approach. He acceded to the Athenians request and paid special attention to all the complaints assuring the envoys that he would issue orders to remedy this plight. Alexander’s situation had changed, and he knew that, if he wanted to continue his campaign further into Persian territory, he needed to assure that the Greeks were in peace.

 

He had enough with the Spartan King Agis at the moment, his mind recalling the urgent dispatch from Antipater, informing him that now, Agis was in open revolt and he and his brother Agesilaus had managed to capture Crete.

 

- What else are we going to do father? –asked Achilles formally, following the King through the streets of Tyre. They had spent almost the entire morning hearing the envoys and the boy was hungry, but he didn’t ask for food, he would wait until Alexander mentioned it. 

 

- We have to inspect the fleet –the King still feel a little embarrassed after what had happened that morning, but he was grateful that his Prince hadn’t asked more in front of Eumenes—And I have to organize a religious celebration and games in honor to our ancestor Herakles.

 

- Ah!…Father, can I ask you something? –for a moment Alexander was tempted to say “it depends” but that was childish, and he dismissed the idea.

 

- What is it, son?

 

- What is an erastes? 

 

- It’s an adult man who has a younger male lover –explained the King, fearing where was this heading.

 

- Ah!…Is daddy your erastes? –yes, this was exactly what he feared.

 

- No, Aki.

 

- Why not? He is older than you, and you both are men –that seemed logical for Achilles.

 

- Yes, but we both are adult men now, you can’t have an erastes at our age

 

- Why not?

 

In that moment, Alexander, for the first time in his life, questioned the Gods: who the hell taught children to ask: “why?” What was he going to say now? To explain a five years old boy that, the erastes was the man with the “active” roll, while the eromenos was the “passive” one and only a young boy could be treated like an eromenos because for an adult man that was the same as degraded himself, was totally out of question.

 

- Because only young boys need to have an erastes to teach them things –the King was proud of his explanation.

 

- What things? –he was starting to love Achilles less.

 

- Aki, what is exactly what you want to know? –the King stopped and faced him.

 

- I want to know what are you and daddy –Alexander kneeled in front of him.

 

- That’s very simple, son. Your father is the most important person in my life –he answered with intensity.

 

- So…daddy is like your wife?

 

- Aki –the King took him by the arms and held his gaze—You can’t label everything –the boy made a pout—I promise that you’ll understand everything…

 

- When I grow up –said Achilles crestfallen and Alexander ruffled his hair.

 

- Come, we are already late –the boy moved his head up and down and followed the King.

 

Alexander couldn’t stop smiling. Excellent question, what were he and Hephaistion? When they were boys he never thought about him as his eromenos, he was always Hephaistion, he used that name because it was simpler, and people didn’t ask so many questions…like Achilles, for example. He had never thought that his beloved degraded himself or that he did that when he let the General had him, but that was not the general opinion. Their relationship was more complicated and deep than this. He didn’t like to call him his “lover”, but he didn’t find another word, one that could actually explain everything that his beloved meant to him. Hephaistion was Hephaistion, his other half, his soul mate.

 

But Aki won’t understand this –he looked at the boy fondly—In fact, not many people can understand what I feel for him.

 

- Alexander! –when the King saw who was calling him his smile disappeared, and, it was replaced by a cold and hard expression. It was no other than Philotas and Alexander had a good idea of why was the hipparch of the hetairoi cavalry there—A word with you.

 

- Not now Philotas –since that night when Hephaistion had confessed him everything he had been thinking what to do with Parmelio’s older son. Hektor’s death had left him in a difficult position, the most veteran General of the Macedonian army had just lost a son, to accuse his firstborn of blackmailing Hephaistion would only make things more complicated.

 

He would have to wait, but, that didn’t mean he was going to make the hipparch’s life an easy one.

 

- I was informed that half of my baggage is lost –Alexander had to make an effort to not smile.

 

- I not the quartermaster, Philotas –the King started to walk again—If you have a problem with your baggage ask Eumenes, I don’t have time for this.

 

The hipparch opened his mouth to say something but Alexander had gone. He cursed and kicked a rock and the King laughed. Of course his baggage was lost, he had given instructions to load Philotas’ trunks at the end, and many things could happen in those dangerous lands. Yes, he wasn’t going to make his life easy and this was only the beginning of a long list of: delays in his payment, the worst rations of food, his personal amphorae of expensive wine ending in the hands of the rank soldiers and many other things. 

 

XXX

 

Hephaistion for his part had a very different day. His grandfather had received a

letter from Nikandros weeks ago, telling him that he and Berenike were coming back that day with a Macedonian squadron of biremes that were carrying new armament and supplies. The General took that day off duty, after leaving Dismas with precise instructions of what was needed to be done, and went with grandfather Demetrios and his brother Lysanias to the harbor.

 

The place was so crowded that they walked with difficulty, the entire fleet that, they had gathered last year to take Tyre, was anchored there, along with several ships carrying supplies. Men dragging heavy boxes, sacks and packages could be seen everywhere, orders shouted in different languages, especially in Greek, floated in the air and the strong smell of salt and sweat filled their nostrils. It was impossible to walk without stumbling against something and more than once Hephaistion had to apologize for crashing against someone. Two times they got lost before they distinguished the familiar silhouette of Nikandros helping his sister with an extremely big trunk.

 

- What the hell are you carrying here, Eni? –exclaimed Nikandros, kicking the trunk while their servants took the rest of their things under the supervision of Netikerty.

 

- Just the necessary…Amyntas! Sophia! Don’t run! Come back here –Berenike called her children, who were happily running among the several packages and boxes, laughing and screaming. Some men smiled watching the children, others cursed or shout angrily at them.

 

Amyntas, Berenike’s oldest son who was now almost 8 years old, ran among the people walking with heavy packages following his 5 years old sister, when Hephaistion caught both kids, carrying them between laughs.

 

- Uncle! –exclaimed Sophia, laughing and screaming. 

 

- My dear children, you are so big…and heavy –said the General carrying them back to where his siblings were waiting. Now that he looked carefully to his niece and nephew he saw that Amyntas looked a lot like his sister, thank to the Gods, only his eyes were like his dead father’s, and Sophia was the living image of Leonnatos, the same brown chocolate hair and the same face, but his sister’s eyes, dark gray just like his own. 

 

- Grandpa! Phai! Lys! –Berenike exclaimed with a big smile and ran to embrace Lysanias. Hephaistion put the children down.

 

- How was the trip? How is mom? –asked the General, kissing her cheek when she finally released Lysanias.

 

- Mom is fine –answered Nikandros, walking to them, he smiled seeing Hephaistion and Lysanias again. He would never admit that aloud but he had missed his brothers.

 

- She is not fine Nick, she says she is fine which is very different –Berenike scolded him. 

 

- Why? What happened? –asked Lysanias concerned.

 

Berenike sighed, watching her children running to embrace grandfather Demetrios.

 

- She is sad, that much is obvious–explained their sister—But mom is acting weird, she doesn’t want to go to Athens with aunt Thailea, and didn’t want me to stay with her. I told her that the children and I could stay, but she sent me back.

 

- She sent you back? –asked grandfather frowning—But Antigone didn’t want you to come here in the first place.

 

- I know grandpa, but…mom has this idea that I should be at my husband’s side no matter what, because we don’t know what the future holds –they fell silent, a strange contrast with the noisy surroundings.

 

- We didn’t want to leave her alone with Cadie –said Nikandros, scratching his head—And, since she didn’t want to go to Athens or that Eni stayed with her, I asked mom to come with us.

 

- Mom? Here? Traveling with the army? –exclaimed Hephaistion as if Nikandros were nuts. It was hard to imagine a woman like his mother traveling with the army as a camp follower; it was no life for her. 

 

- What else what was I suppose to say? –answered his older brother—I didn’t want to leave her alone.  

 

- And mom came with you? –Lysanias asked while craning his neck to see the surroundings, but his grandfather slapped the back of his head.

 

- Don’t be ridiculous, Lys –said grandfather Demetrios—A woman like Antigone, a lady like her, doesn’t come to a military camp, am I wrong?

 

Nikandros and Berenike nodded.

 

- That’s right –said Nikandros—Mom said this wasn’t a place for her.

 

- And you left her alone? –asked Hephaistion.

 

- She didn’t give us many choices, Phai –said Berenike, shaking her head—Cadie is with mom and Iokaste, Leon’s mother, are taking care of her.

 

- Lets just hope this war ends quickly and we all can go back home with her –said Nikandros and Hephaistion kept silent.

 

The General knew better than anybody else that this war wasn’t going to end any time soon.

 

XXX