CHAPTER 59

 

Hephaistion woke up thanks to the havoc around him. He had fallen asleep under a tree, he was very tired after days marching across the mountains and, as soon as they made a stop at the Cydnus River, he fell asleep. But now, as he started to open his eyes lazily, he saw people running everywhere, calling aloud in hysterical shouts for all the doctors in the army.

 

- Eurycliedes! –the General called his guard, looking around him and he young man appeared immediately.

 

- Sir? –Hephaistion stood up, still a little sleepy, with leaves stuck in his long hair.

 

- What’s going on? Who is injured? –asked the General, rubbing his eyes.

 

- Nobody, sir –answered Eurycliedes—But the King is sick.

 

- WHAT?! –then, slowly, he started to remember his dream and went pale—Don’t tell me he jumped into the river.

 

His guard blinked in confusion and surprise, he had been watching over his General, while he was sleeping, since at least 2 hours ago, while the King was at the river.

 

- Yes, sir, that was exactly what he did –said the impressed Eurycliedes—I heard he was sweating a lot with this heat and, took off his clothes and decided to swim in the river. His guards had to take him out of the water half-conscious; I heard he was white as dead and frozen.

 

He, WHAT?! –thought the General.

 

- Shit! –Hephaistion went running to the King’s side. His heart was beating furiously and he felt the fear running through his veins like ice-cold water; his Alexander was sick and he knew it was very serious.

 

He opened the flaps of the tent with force and found the interior empty, only a guard was there, picking up some things, and the man told the General they had moved Alexander to a house in the city.

 

A house at the city? What house? What city? –he thought, until he remembered they were very close to Tarsus. He had to clench his firsts to force himself to stop trembling. 

 

Hephaistion looked for his mount, he couldn’t remember where was his horse, where was his tent or what his name was, the only thing in his head was: Alexander is sick…but the Gods decided to have mercy on him and before he could find Alastor, he found his brother, walking at the side of his horse while talking to his friend Kleopatros.

 

- NICK! Give me your horse –said the General in a hurry and without breath.

 

- Where are you…

 

- Tarsus –that explained everything to Nikandros, he too had heard the news and gave his brother the reins without asking more.

 

Hephaistion mounted and rushed to the city. He must calm down, Alexander was a strong man, like a bull, and he never got sick; he tried to put aside his fears but it was extremely difficult, he kept remembering his dream, the King’s pallor, the fact that he couldn’t breath…the General didn’t understand half the things he had seen, but his dreams always showed him parts of his future.

 

The journey to the city was eternal to him, and when Hephaistion arrived he didn’t have problems locating where the King was, because there was a huge crowd in and outside one particular house located at the center of Tarsus. Perdikkas was there, trying to make some room for the doctors that had just arrived with Krateros.

 

- How is he? –asked the General, as pale as a ghost, when he arrived near his friend.

 

Perdikkas shook his head.

 

- I’m not a doctor but he doesn’t look good –he said, scaring more the newcomer—He is very pale, trembling and can’t breathe.

 

- Who is with him now? –asked the General very anxious, looking around.

 

- I called all the doctors that are traveling with us –answered Perdikkas— They are all inside –Hephaistion nodded, that was a good idea, he would have done the same.

 

I need to calm down, he is going to be fine and I’m of no use here if I get hysterical –thought Hephaistion, taking a deep breath.

 

- Well, first of all, there are a lot of people here –said the General, breathing in and…out, in and… out; hearing the murmurs in the room as if he were inside a hive, with bees buzzing everywhere. He turned to face the crowd and raised his voice— SILENCE! –he shouted at the top of his voice to be heard, and everybody looked at him, it was easy since he was very tall—Listen carefully, here are too many people, all of you who have nothing to do here, please leave at once. 

 

- Who put you in charge here, pretty boy? –asked Krateros rudely, his massive arms crossed over his chest.

 

First rule in Krateros’ book: If you have an opportunity to annoy Hephaistion, TAKE IT.

 

- The King moron, or I have to remind you that I’m the General of the Agema which is in charge of the King’s security? –everybody fell silent—Good! Now leave, I don’t want here anybody but the doctors, the guards and the pages.

 

Even Krateros, through clenched teeth, had to admit Hephaistion had all the right to decide who stayed and who left. He wanted to hear the news first hand but he also had other things to do, the King had given him very specific orders before he jumped into the river. Krateros turned on his heels and left, grumbling something that made the people near him went pale. Eumenes, who was near the King’s room, gave the General a nasty look but also left, it was pointless to argue, and his servant ran after him carrying all his papers, notes and scrolls.

 

- Well, I suppose I go too –said Perdikkas, scratching his head.

 

- Can I ask you a favor? –said Hephaistion, his exterior a little calmer, but inside his heart was aching as if he was about to suffer a heart attack.

 

- Name it.

 

- Call Dismas here, I need to discuss something with him –asked the General. He had much to do. 

 

- Count on it –Perdikkas patted his back—Phai, Alexander is too stubborn to die before facing Darius. He didn’t come so far to be beaten by a cold. 

 

Hephaistion really wanted to smile at his friend and thank him for his support, but found himself unable to do it. Then, among all his concerns, he remembered something that had caught his attention.

 

- Perdikkas! –the General called him before he reached the door—Where is Parmelio? I didn’t see him here.

 

- He is not in Tarsus, Phai –answered his friend—Just before jumping into the river, Alexander sent him with the allied infantry, the Greek mercenaries, and the Thracian and the Thessalian cavalry (1) to report on Darius’ movements and to block the passes through the other Gates, the ones between Cilicia and Assyria.

 

Hephaistion nodded.

 

As soon as Perdikkas was gone, the General quickly organized the guards and the pages. The doctors were still inside the King’s room deliberating, and even if he was dying to know how was Alexander, he thought it would be a bad idea to interrupt them, so he forced himself to remain where he was. Dismas arrived without breath, but, since he had heard the news, as the rest of the army, he wasn’t very far from the house. 

 

- Glycon, I’ll need at least 4 pages on duty –said Hephaistion, completely unaware of the nasty looks his brother Lysanias was giving him—I know is going to be hard but this is an emergency, I don’t know what are the doctors going to say, but everything they need they will get.

 

- Yes, sir –said Glycon with military efficiency.

 

- Nobody enters here without my permission, and I want the roll of the pages, understood?

 

- Perfectly, sir.

 

- Dismas, I want to double the guards here, the King is sick and we don’t know who could get advantage of this situation –said the General to his second in command.

 

- I’ll see to it immediately –Dismas went out and before Hephaistion could open his mouth again, the King’s door was open.

 

- Everybody to their duties –said the General before running to Alexander’s room.

 

- Who does he think he is? –muttered Lysanias but Glycon heard him.

 

- He is in charge of the Agema –answered Glycon very serious—I know he is your brother Lysanias, but here we are not at your house, this is an army, and you have to talk to the General with respect because he is our superior, and has all the right to give us orders.

 

- You are only defending him because you are screwing his slave –said Lysanias and the other page needed to make an effort to not punch him. The rest of the boys swallowed, they had never saw Glycon so angry, and Iolaos clenched his fists in a menacing way, ready to defend Lysanias.

 

- You are moron, Lysanias –said Glycon furious—I don’t know what problem do you have with your brother, but you are loser, not half the man he is.

 

- As if I wanted to be like Phai –said Lysanias in a mocking tone, and left the living room with his bodyguard behind him.

 

Inside the King’s room, Hephaistion found 7 long faces; he could hear Alexander trying to breath as if he were drowning and a slight hiss that he made every time he drew air. 

 

- General –said doctor Philip in that particularly tone doctors use when things are extremely bad—The King is very sick.

 

Hephaistion felt a knot in his stomach. All his fears were coming true.

 

- But…he is going to be fine…right? –the seven doctors looked at each other, in stony silence.

 

- General, the King is going to die –said Asphalion, a man who came from Thessaly.

 

Hephaistion felt he was going to faint, his knees would not hold him any longer. He couldn’t believe his ears or what his eyes saw, he spent a long time in silence as if he were in limbo, hoping with all his might that this was just a nightmare and that, when he woke up Alexander would be fine, that nothing had happened. The General made an effort to stay on his feet. He needed to be strong in that moment, when Alexander needed him the most.

 

- We don’t know that for sure –said doctor Philip, turning to face his college—We can treat him –he continued, talking to a very pale Hephaistion—But I can’t guarantee he is going to get better, all we can do now is to pray that the Gods have mercy on him.

 

- You can treat him all you want –said Asphalion again—But I’m not staying here to be blame of his dead, because the King is going to die.

 

Three other doctors thought exactly as Asphalion, they all knew Alexander’s condition was critical and nobody in that room (with the exception of doctor Philip and Hephaistion) thought he was going to live. They were scared and knew perfectly well what could happen to them if the King died under their watch. Besides there was the rumor, the Great King had offered 1,000 talent reward to the man who killed Alexander, and neither of them wanted to be charged for murdering and complicity with the Great King.  

 

Hephaistion puffed out, trying to think, taking his hands to his head, burying his fingers in his silk hair.

 

- Who in this room is going to do his job and treat the King? –he asked, arms down, surveying the faces around him. All the doctors avoid making eye contact with him—I see, so I’m dealing with a pack of cowards –the General was angry, the love of his life was dying and the men capable of treating him refused because they were too scared?

 

The doctors took a step back, afraid of the General and the way he looked at them. They all knew how strong was Hephaistion and didn’t want to be near him in case he decided to cut their heads. He was going to move his hand to the hilt of his sword, determine to force the doctors to treat Alexander even it that meant to chain them to the King’s bed or threat to kill them. They feared for their lives? Then, Hephaistion was going to give them something to seriously fear.

 

But before he could do anything…

 

- I will treat him –said doctor Philip, taking him out from his dark thoughts —But as I said, I can’t guaranty he would get better.

 

- Please, just… do everything you can.

 

He was going to be fine, right? After all that man in his dream, the one that appeared to be a doctor, had said Alexander would be fine, that he would recover in 5 days.

 

But that was only a dream –thought Hephaistion, after days staying in the house with his King. Now, almost 2 days later, Alexander wasn’t better, he had fever and the fever made him delirious, speaking nonsense and he was still breathing with difficulty.

 

Hephaistion hadn’t slept, he sat at the King’s side on the bed, holding his hand and cleaning the sweat from his forehead, whispering to him loving words, and kissing his fingers when Alexander had nightmares.

 

- You are going to be fine –whispered the General, closed to his cheek, feeling the heat of the fever against his lips—You are the strongest and the most stubborn man I have ever know –he caressed his damp hair—You have a lot to do, weren’t you the one who said he would surpass Achilles? –he kissed his cheek, talking against his skin—You will be greater than him, but first you have to get up, do you hear me?

 

Alexander was still fighting to breath, and it broke the General’s heart to hear him, he would do anything to see him better. ANYTHING. He could make Herakles’ 12 labors to look as a children’s task if he were told that he had to deal with lions and chimeras in order to heal his King.

 

The General stayed in the room day and night looking after him, even if Perdikkas, Leonnatos and Glycon insisted that he should get some rest, how could he sleep when his other half was fighting for his life?

 

- General, I can stay here –said Glycon for the fifth time that night—Please, you need to get some rest, sir. You have been here for whole 2 days. 

 

- I’m fine Glycon, please, stop insisting, I’m not going anywhere –said Hephaistion, lying on a couch with a blanket. 

 

The page sighed.

 

- At least eat something, sir –he insisted.

 

- All right, leave the food on the table –said the General and Glycon nodded. 

 

He truly appreciate the page’s concern but he couldn’t eat, his stomach didn’t retain anything, Hephaistion could only take 3 or 4 bites or he felt he was going to vomit. It was pointless, with stomach was full with concern, so he left his diner and went back to his couch. Doctor Philip entered the room and when he saw the half eaten meal he frowned.

 

- General, you should finish your dinner –he said walking to the King’s bed.

 

- I can’t –answered Hephaistion, it was a warm night at least, and the window was open to let the air circulate.

 

- If you continue like this –the doctor continued— I will have 2 patients instead of one.

 

- I’m fine, really –doctor Philip didn’t think so, but he said nothing—How is he? 

 

- Fighting to stay with us, which is to say a lot –the doctor prepared a beverage on the table next to bed.

 

- Phai?… —the King said weakly and Hephaistion ran at his side.

 

- I’m here Alex –his best friend kneeled at the side of the bed and took his hand between his, kissing it. The King woke up for intervals and spoke softly, always asking about the situation, about Darius, about Parmelio, about his troops, and about everything except his own health— Don’t talk, you are going to be fine –he caressed the King’s head, brushing aside his damped locks.

 

- Are there news…from… Parmelio? –Alexander asked with difficulty.

 

- No, Alex, not yet. You need to give him time –someone knocked the door and Glycon appeared as if someone had called him.

 

- My apologies for interrupting –said the page in the formal tone that someone older would have used—But General Parmelio sent an urgent message for the King.

 

Hephaistion stretched his arm.

 

- Thanks Glycon –the page gave him the message.

 

- Is there something you need? –asked Glycon, looking at the pale face of the King with concern.

 

- No, thanks –the boy nodded, and left the room.

 

- General, give a hand, I need to sit the King –asked doctor Philip.

 

Hephaistion sat at Alexander’s side on the bed and lifted him carefully, taking him by the back. He was burning in fever, trembling, and still unable to breath normally. Alexander’s back hurt as if someone had beaten him and his eyelids felt very heavy…he just wanted to sleep.

 

- He is trembling –said the General worried.

 

- Of course he is, General –said doctor Philip—He has fever.

 

- Shouldn’t we cover him with another blanket? –asked Hephaistion, leaning the King’s weight against his chest.

 

- No, General. He should stay like this, covering him will only increase the fever –explained the doctor—Alexander, I need to talk to you.

 

- I’m sick not…deaf –said the King, smiling weakly.

 

- Alexander, you are very sick and I need to give you a purge –doctor Philip explained—It’s not going to be pretty and you are going to get worst before getting better but…it’s the only option you have.

 

- It’s all right –doctor Philip nodded and went to look for the cup—Phai?…

 

- Tell me, my love –he whispered near his ear. 

 

- Give me Parmelio’s… message –Hephaistion did as he was told and Alexander broke the seal to read the letter. The King’s head hurt and he felt his eyes burning, but he needed to know what was the Great King doing.

 

His best friend stroked his forehead, gently wiping the sweat with a cloth, kissing his head lovingly while the King read. Not even for a second Hephaistion thought in the possibility of peeking what had Parmelio written, he was too busy taking care of Alexander and trying to calm down his own trouble heart. Alexander smiled, a half smile and took the cup that doctor Philip was offering him.

 

- You should… read this –said the King without voice, his throat was sore and burned every time he spoke and every breath felt as if the air were burning his lungs. He gave the letter to the doctor. That took Philip by surprised, why was Alexander giving him his personal mail? He didn’t understand but took the letter anyway, and sat on a chair near the bed to read…

 

To Alexander King of the Macedonians from Parmelio son of Philotas. Hail!

 

“Beware of Philip of Acarnania; I am informed that he has been bribed by Darius to poison you”(2)…

 

Doctor Philip went pale. General Parmelio, THE General Parmelio, the man that the late King Philip treasured as his most capable general, was accusing him of conspiring to kill the King.

 

Oh Sweet Zeus! I’m lost –thought the doctor in dismay. Who was he to stand against the word of the powerful Parmelio? He was just a simple doctor, and now it was his word against the veteran General…not to mention that Hephaistion, the same man that could struck fear into the hearts of his opponents in the battlefield, was going to cut his head if he read this message. He didn’t finish the letter; he just let his arms fall on his lap, resigned to his cruel fate as he raised a prayer to the Gods to have mercy on his mortal soul. He lifted his head, and saw the King drinking the entire beverage in one gulp.  

 

- That…tasted…horribly…—said the King, he smiled at Philip and the doctor smiled back, shaking uncontrollably. Hephaistion took the cup and helped him to lie down again.

 

- What now? –asked the General, covering Alexander with just one blanket.

 

- Now? –doctor Philip didn’t know what was he talking about.

 

- Yes, now.

 

- Oh! Right!…we need to…em…Alexander needs to rest –said the doctor, putting himself together—As I said, he is going to get worst before we can see any recovery.

 

XXX

 

Hephaistion stayed with Alexander day and night, without resting or sleeping and barely eating. As doctor Philip had said, the King got worst before getting better, he couldn’t breath, he couldn’t talk, and for moments he just lay there unconscious, without knowing where he was or who he was. The fever was very high and Hephaistion felt a terrible pain in his chest, something he had never experienced before, a mixture of sadness, helplessness, hopelessness and guilt, guilt for not had been able to protect Alexander, and that guilt pressed his chest, making for him difficult to breathe.

 

Sometimes, the General had to sit the King because he could breath, and he spent the night embracing Alexander until his arms felt numb.

 

Hephaistion was scared, every time he called Alexander and he didn’t wake up, he feared he was going to die, that he would never open his beautiful uneven eyes before, and his mind wandered playing tricks on him, tormenting him with thoughts of what was going to happen if Alexander died.

 

That was a living hell. He could endure everything if his King was with him, but if he wasn’t…Hephaistion shook his head. What if Alexander died?…

 

Hephaistion left the King’s room to look for a page, he needed to change the sheets drenched in sweat. He was like an automat, a lifeless form that moved only for the will of the Gods, his mind was at Alexander’s side and his own fears kept haunting him like ghosts. When he found a page he needed a few moments before realizing it was his brother the one standing in front of him.

 

- Lys…I need fresh sheets –Lysanias nodded.

 

- How is the King? –asked the page and his brother shook his head. 

 

- Bad…

 

- This is your fault! –exclaimed Lysanias and Hephaistion turned to see him as if he had slapped him—You are in charge of the King security, and where were you when he jumped into the river? –the page was trembling from head to toe, trying his best not to cry—You don’t care about the King, you have been very busy with your bastard son and you have been ignoring him. Who do you think you are to make him begged for you to stay at his side? You are not worthy of him and now he is dying because you weren’t near to protect him…

 

And with that, the page left him, running to get out of the house, and leaving his brother confused, sad and with a terrible feeling of guiltiness. His brother was right, this was his fault, he had been careless, sleeping while Alexander decided to swim in the ice-cold river. He knew the King was sick, why hadn’t he taken Alexander to the doctor? He had said to him that he didn’t wanted him near Achilles for fear that the boy would get sick, and now, Alexander was dying…

 

Yes, this was his fault. He was useless as the General of the Agema, as a Somatophilax… some bodyguard he was letting the King act in that reckless way… 

 

On the third day, Hephaistion was sitting beside Alexander on the bed, the King was lying on his side, and his best friend was rubbing and massaging his naked back as doctor Philip had instructed him. But the same thoughts, the same fears assailed over and over again…

 

- Alex, please…you have to wake up…–the General’s voice trembled, he couldn’t stand that anymore and started to cry, he cried as if his heart were breaking apart, as if he wanted blood to spring up from his eyes.

 

Save me now

before my world falls

Save me now

from myself

before the dawn

(Sirenia. Save me From Myself)

 

Hephaistion leaned his head against his naked back; his thick tears ran down the King’s skin. He didn’t want to admit it but he was starting to give up hope, what if Alexander died?…He had been asking himself the same question since days ago, but he knew the answer. The King was his other half; he couldn’t go on living without his other life… 

 

What? Do you think I never consider the possibility of throwing myself to the sun? I have thought about it more times than I can count. Sometimes I thought my search was futile, that I would never be able to bring my King back to life. Lucius had a very hard time one day, I truly walked out to the sun one morning and he had to run after me. I can’t live without him, and if Alexander had died in Tarsus, I would have followed him…be sure of that.

 

This is your fault… —Lysanias words sounded clear inside his head.

 

He is going to die –doctor Asphalion.

 

I can’t guarantee he is going to get better –doctor Philip.

 

Alexander is too stubborn to die –Perdikkas.

 

 - Please…I’ll do everything… —cried Hephaistion, to whom? Not even he was sure, but he couldn’t accept the possibility of a world without the King.

 

- Don’t…cry… —the General’s heart skip a beat, was he hallucinating now?—It breaks…my heart…to hear you…cry… —said Alexander with a ghost of voice. He was hoarse and was a great effort for him to pronounce each word.

 

- Alex? –Hephaistion cleaned his face and lifted his head to see him—You are awake –it was like a dream and he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing—How do you feel?

 

- Guilty… —what kind of answer was that?– For…making you…suffer.

 

The General felt he was going to cry again; he cleared his throat several times and covered the King again, helping him to sat.

 

- Well, you should be feeling guilty. What possessed you to jump into the river if you were sick? –he tried to scold him, but was too happy to do it properly.

 

- It was a…hot day…

 

- You are an idiot.

 

- I…know… —Hephaistion couldn’t help it and smiled.

 

- Before you ask, your army is well but the men are very concerned about you –the General explained with drowned voice, successfully reading his mind— Parmelio has taken several towns, and Darius is still on his way here.

 

Alexander nodded.

 

- I’m…hungry.

 

- I’ll bring you something to eat –he kissed his cheek and stood up, running to the door. The King could hear him calling doctor Philip and the steps of the doctor approaching his room.

 

Alexander closed his eyes, he was still very weak and feeling really bad, but he had to get better soon, not only because the Great King was approaching, not only for his men, who were feeling uneasy knowing that their invincible King was sick; also because he couldn’t stand that look in Hephaistion’s eyes. Only one time he had seen so much sadness in those beloved gray eyes, when his father had rape him, and he couldn’t bear being the one who was causing his beloved so much suffering.

 

XXX

 

(1) Peter Green. Alexander of Macedon, p 221

(2) Arrian. The Campaigns of Alexander, p 107