CHAPTER 48

 

King Philip V meditations

215 BC Pella

 

Philip was studying a map of the entire East. The plan drew the outlines of what once was the magnificent empire of Alexander the Great. So huge, so vast that, at his death, no one could hold everything, and the empire was cut into three pieces: the great Persia to the Indus River was for Seleucus, Egypt for Ptolemy, Syria and Asia Minor for Antigonus, and Macedonia and Greece to Lysimachus and Cassander […]

 

Now Antiochus III, descendant of Seleucus the Great, had sought to regain the old empire of Alexander and struggled against Egypt for the control of Syria [...] and with Philip himself for the control of Asia Minor. But Philip was studying carefully the strategies design to restore Macedonian hegemony over Greece, ensure all its borders with his eastern neighbor and to stop the Egyptian influence in the northern of Africa.

 

For a long time the King of Macedonia had despised the West. Carthage was a dominant force there since the days of Alexander (But now…) […] I’ll have to see how these Romans fight. If (Hannibal) a Carthaginian, can defeat them, a Macedonian can do it too. (1)

 

-o-o-o-

 

- He is your father, Aki –said Berenike, and the little boy saw her with his eyes wide open. Not even for a second Achilles thought she was lying, she was his beloved aunt and she had never lie to him. When he turned to see Hephaistion again, he was watching him with a completely new perspective.

 

He was his father. He had dreamed every night with this moment since Nanny had told him about his wonderful father, and now it had become true. He didn’t look as Achilles had imagined him, but he didn’t care, he had a father, as the children he used to play with in Pella. In his innocent and shiny uneven eyes, Hephaistion could read the most pure and selfless love, and in that moment he panicked.

 

The General was still trying to digest the part: “you have a son with Cleopatra”, when he saw those eyes closely watching him. What was he going to do now? If his grandfather and sister hadn’t been the ones saying this to him, he would have never believe he had a son…but now, taking a moment to analyze Achilles, he started to distinguish the obvious likeness with himself: the same hair, bone structure, his face, skin…but the nose and his eyes where just like Alexander’s.

 

Once Hephaistion had heard his mother saying that your children usually look like your brothers or sisters. Now he was starting to confirm that, because this boy could have been his uncle’s son as well as his.

 

Hephaistion felt overwhelmed. He had never thought of the possibility of having a son…at least not so soon and certainly not now. He was a very responsible person, he knew a son wasn’t like having a puppy, his parents had raised him with so much love and care that he wasn’t going to give a child of him less than he had received…but he couldn’t be a father now. Not in the middle of war.

 

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. What was he going to do?

 

Hephaistion was silent for so long that her sister started to worry. In her romantic imagination, Berenike had hope that his brother would run and embrace his child, covering him with kisses and with tears of joy in his eyes.... now she was preoccupied; why was her brother so serious?

 

Grandfather Demetrios understood better what his grandson was thinking. Men and women react very different towards their children. Women loved their children in the same moment they know they are pregnant (or at least the vast majority do) but men don’t start comprehending the full extension of the word “father” until their child is born.  In other circumstances Demetrios would have never bring Achilles here, but they didn’t have a choice.     

 

Nobody spoke. They could hear the chaotic noises of the city, orders shouted in Macedonian, screams, the cracking of the wood at being consumed by the fire, the crackle of flames, steps…but for the small group there wasn’t nothing else except themselves. Achilles, completely oblivious to what the adults were thinking, felt his heart racing and started walking shyly to where Hephaistion was standing, but when he was going to hug him...

 

- Hephaistion! –that was Kleitos powerful voice—Hephaistion, the King is asking for you, go to the northern part of the city.

 

Hephaistion turned to see his grandfather.

 

- We’ll talk later. Grandpa, please take them to our camp –said his grandson, he turned and walked back to his horse; but when he was about to mount he felt something wrapped around his leg.

 

Hephaistion had his hands on his saddle and when he lowered his eyes found the small figure of Achilles, his arms around his leg as if his life depended on it. Hephaistion leaned his head against the saddle and closed his eyes, few times in his life he had been this confused; he could hear the boy sobbing and that broke his heart.

 

He could be confused and had his doubts about what to do now with the Achilles, but that didn’t mean he was indifferent and insensible to the boy’s feelings.

 

He bent over and caressed Achilles’ head.

 

- Your name is Achilles? –the boy moved his head up and down—That’s a good name –he lifted his head when he heard the soft tone of his voice—Achilles, I have to go but I promise that I’ll look for you at the camp when this is over. 

 

- B-but I don’t want you… to go –the boy sobbed again, with hiccup.

 

Hephaistion took him by the arms and gently pulled him away from his leg. Then he knelt before the child.

 

- I’ll look for you as soon as I can, but I can’t stay here and I can’t take you with me.   

 

- Why…hic…not?

 

- Because is dangerous –he explained with all patience.

 

Achilles moved his head up and down again.

 

- You promise you…hic…are coming…hic…back?

 

- Yes –said Hephaistion firmly.

 

- All right –the boy accepted and his father patted his head.

 

Netikerty took Achilles with her and Hephaistion was free to go to where Alexander was waiting for him. He felt his head was going to explode with all this new information, but for the moment he had to put aside his personal problems and concentrate in what was happening at the city.

 

He found his King in the middle of a complete anarchy. The wind was spreading the fire to the rest of the city and if they didn’t act soon, Halicarnassus would burn to the ground.

 

- We can’t put the fire out –said Krateros, with his face black, covered with soot—The wind is against us.

 

Alexander saw the terrible spectacle and knew what had to be done.

 

- We have to destroy the houses and buildings around the fire –said the King—In order to stop the fire from spreading any further. 

 

- It’s a good plan –said Krateros nodding, trying to clean his face with the back of the hand but that only made it worst, and he got even dirtier.

 

- But…we’ll have to destroy entire neighborhoods to do that, the fire covers a great part of the city –said Perdikkas.

 

- I’m afraid that is better than loosing the entire city –said Alexander, he was well aware of this but hadn’t another choice.

 

The King walked to where Hephaistion was waiting and, as soon as he saw his face, he knew something had happened.

 

- Are you all right?

 

Hephaistion ran a hand through his face.

 

- Not quite…

 

That answer confused the King.

 

- What happened?

 

- I found Grandpa and Eni –said Hephaistion.

 

- Are they hurt? –Alexander through the worst, judging by his beloved’s expression. 

 

- No, no, no –his best friend shook his head—They are fine. It’s…something else.

 

- Phai, you are killing me, what’s wrong? –Hephaistion opened his mouth to answer…

 

- Alexander! A messenger wants to talk to you, he says is urgent –said Seleucus, not far from them.

 

- I’m coming! –Alexander turned to see his best friend again—You were saying –but Hephaistion shook his head. 

 

- Go, we’ll talk later; this isn’t urgent –the King wasn’t very convinced, but his best friend insisted—I promise I’ll tell you everything later.

 

Alexander nodded.

 

A small group of armed men barricaded themselves in the island stronghold of Arconnesus, but for now there was nothing Alexander could do to subjugate them, so he let them be. He had achieved his goal and that was enough for now.

 

Hephaistion had a terrible day, running from one corner of the city to the other supervising that the destruction of the houses, in the path of the fire, took place in order to not endanger anyone. It was late at night when he could come back to his tent, covered in soot and ashes from head to toe, and with only one thought in his mind: sleep. By now, he was so overwhelmed by his duties in the city that he had completely forgot about his son…until he saw his grandfather standing outside his tent.

 

- Son, I want to talk to you –said grandfather Demetrios gravely.

 

Hephaistion sighed. He truly looked as tired as he felt, his face too pale, his eyes burned after been so close to the fire all day and his head hurt.

 

- Grandpa, can’t you wait until tomorrow? –pleaded Hephaistion in a low voice.

 

- I know you are tired, but trust me, this can’t wait –said his grandfather, and Hephaistion knew he couldn’t escape.

 

- All right.

 

Soon the 2 of them were sitting in the General’s tent. Kyros hurried to serve them dinner; he had been waiting for his master since hours ago with food and a hot bath ready. Hephaistion ate each mouthful with difficulty, trying to not fall asleep on his meal. 

 

- Phai, I understand what you felt when you saw Aki –said grandfather Demetrios.

 

- Aki? –what was his grandfather talking about?

 

- Achilles.

 

- Oh, I see…why did you bring him here? –if they were going to talk about this now, Hephaistion wanted to know why his grandfather and sister had bring a 3 years old boy to Asia in the middle of a war. He could understand Berenike’s reasons, but his grandfather?

 

Grandfather Demetrios sighed.

 

- It’s a long story –his grandfather told him everything: the story Agape had told them about the old couple and the mysterious woman who had left Achilles with them, about Queen Olympias kidnapping the boy, the mysterious letter of Cleopatra in which she asked her mother to send the boy to her in order to kill him, and about King Alexandros of Epirus insanely jealousy.

 

By the end of the story, Hephaistion was completely awake. That was the most fantastic story he had ever heard and, certainly, the last thing he would have imagined when he heard the words: “you have a son”.  

 

- I know you are in the middle of a war –continued grandfather Demetrios—And trust me when I say this to you: I would have never bring Aki here if we had another option, but we haven’t one.

 

Hephaistion rubbed his eyes.

 

- And what now? What do you suppose I should do with the boy here? –Hephaistion was angry, he had been under a lot of pressure and was very tired, now he was exploding—I can’t have him here, we are constantly traveling, moving from side to side, I do not know where we will be tomorrow, we are continually under attack, we don’t have enough supplies, and I have no time TO TAKE CARE OF A CHILD!

 

Grandfather Demetrios listened to him patiently, and when he finished, he spoke very softly.

 

- Phai, just tell me something: Would you have preferred that the child will stay in Pella, and Queen Olympias and Cleopatra had assassinated him? –Hephaistion felt silent—You know what kind of person is Olympias, the only one who can control her is King Alexander. Phai, she is driving Antipater nuts, what do you think she would have done to us if we had opposed her? 

 

Hephaistion sighed.

 

- I know, I know…is just… —he wanted to go outside and shout until he had no more energy—I don’t know what to do, grandpa. I can’t be a father now…

 

- You are too kind, son –said grandfather Demetrios—Any other man in your position would buy a slave to take care of Aki and forgot about him. 

 

- And let him live among the camp followers as an orphan? –Hephaistion was shocked by such a proposal—I have a blessed life with a wonderful family, I wouldn’t change my childhood for all the riches in the world –he said softly, meaning every word—It would be unfair if I don’t take care of my son in the same way my parents did with me and my brothers and sister, I have always thought that way and for this reason I don’t wanted a child now… All my energies and attention are with Alexander and this campaign, life in a military camp is no life for a child.

 

- I understand better than you think –said grandfather Demetrios—I have been fighting long before you were born, but Aki doesn’t have a choice between living comfortably with your mother at Pella or living with you here. For him is death at Pella or the chance to live here, even if this is not the ideal environment for him.

 

- No –said Hephaistion suddenly—There is other way –his grandfather saw him with all his attention—I can talk to Alexander and if he writes a letter to his mother and sister… –Demetrios laughed.

 

- You are naïve –said his grandfather—Do you really think Olympias is going to obey a letter from Alexander? Alexander is HERE and she is free to do as she pleases in Macedonia, she or Cleopatra can say it was an accident and that they are very sorry but the boy died. Phai, if Olympias is messing with Antipater despite everything Alexander said to her about not interfering with the Regent, what makes you think she is going to obey now?

 

He has a point –thought Hephaistion.

 

- When I said Alexander was the only one who can control his mother, sister and uncle, I meant that HERE Aki is safe –his grandfather continued.

 

- All right, you win, the boy can stay here –Hephaistion gave up.

 

- “The boy”? He has a name, Phai.

 

- I KNOW!…just give me time, please. Men usually have 9 months to get use to idea of becoming a father, I only have one day –Demetrios nodded.

 

His grandfather stood up and patted his shoulder.

 

- Take your time, but don’t forget to talk to Aki tonight –he said. 

 

- I don’t think so; I'm so tired that I’m in danger of dropping dead at any moment.

 

- I know, but you promised to look for him when you returned and, last time I checked, he was still up waiting for you –said grandfather Demetrios, and Hephaistion sighed.

 

- Fine, tell Netikerty to bring him here.

 

- I will.

 

As soon as his grandfather had gone, Hephaistion stretched his arms up. Why these things only happened to him? He had slept with Cleopatra just one time, ONE! and now they had a son together. Why this never happened to Nikandros? Only the Gods knew with how many women he had slept and he didn’t have illegitimate children.

 

Or if he has any, nobody bothered to follow him to Asia to bring him his children –thought Hephaistion. A noise told him that Kyros was near.

 

- Did you hear? –he asked talking to the air, and the Theban appeared, walking shyly to where he was.

 

- It depends –Hephaistion turned to see him when he heard that answer.

 

- Depends? On what?

 

- Are you going to be mad with me if I say “yes”? –the General smiled.

 

- No.

 

Kyros sighed with relief.

 

- Then, yes I heard.

 

- What do you think?

 

- I don’t know –said the Theban, taking a seat in the chair recently vacated by the grandfather Demetrios—I have never being a father –that answer made Hephaistion laughed. And only the Gods knew how much better he felt after laughing.

 

XXX

 

- Nety you walk very slowly –Achilles complained, pulling her arm trying to make her walk faster.

 

The Egyptian smiled. She was taking care of Achilles while Berenike and her children were at Leonnatos’ tent, after a very emotive reunion in which Berenike hadn’t being able to stop crying for a very long time.

 

Netikerty arrived at Hephaistion’s tent. It was very late, but Achilles still had a lot of energy in him. The General was about to thank the Egyptian for bringing the boy, when Achilles ran and tightly embraced his legs, leaning his head against him. And that disarmed him.

 

- That would be all, Netikerty –said Hephaistion, the slave bowed and left the tent, smiling like a girl, feeling very happy for the little boy.

 

Hephaistion didn’t know what to do and, with a clumsy movement, patted the child's back. Achilles lifted his head to see him still embracing his legs with a big, innocent smiled on his face.

 

- Achilles…Aki I can’t feel my legs –he said joking.

 

- Daddy, I brought you something –said the boy happily jumping.

 

“Daddy”…that sounds so awkward –thought Hephaistion. Definitely he would need time to get used to his new status as somebody’s father.

 

- Really? –Achilles looked inside his clothes and gave him a small rock, so polished it looked like a crystal.

 

- I found it in a river and a fish bit me –he said proudly, as if he had suffered a war wound—In this finger –Achilles showed him his index finger—It hurt and it bled, but Nanny kissed it and I felt better.

 

- Thank you –said Hephaistion, taking the rock.

 

Silence. The General didn’t know what to tell him and the boy only stared at him with curiosity and admiration.

 

- Er…are you hungry? –that was the only thing Hephaistion could think and Achilles moved his head up and down.

 

- Can I have a glass with milk? Please.

 

- Milk?

 

- Nanny always gave me milk before going to bed –Achilles explained.

 

Nanny again –thought Hephaistion.

 

- Who is Nanny?

 

- Nanny is Nanny –Achilles thought for a second—I think she is your mom.    

 

- I see…so, you want milk –Hephaistion tried to think where to get milk. Milk certainly that wasn’t part of his own meals— Kyros!

 

The Theban came running, he was very curious to see how his master’s son looked like, and he had been eavesdropping.  

 

- I’m here!

 

- Kyros do you have any idea where to get milk? –asked Hephaistion.

 

- Maybe at the city –the Theban made a pause thinking— Do you want me to go and look for it?

 

- Yes, please.

 

- All right, I’m going –Kyros left smiling, this was his opportunity to see Glycon.

 

XXX

 

- …and then we took this ship and I saw seagulls –a very excited Achilles was saying to his half asleep father.

 

The boy had drank his milk and when poor and naïve Hephaistion laid the child beside him, believing that he would fall asleep immediately, Achilles had started talking, telling him about his travel by sea and all his adventures with his aunt…sorry, uncle Eni and grandpa Demetrios.

 

- Daddy, do you know what a seagull is?…daddy? –when Hephaistion didn’t answer, Achilles approached and opened one of his gray eyes—Daddy?

 

Hephaistion grunted and turned to get on his back.

 

- Aki, go to sleep…tomorrow you can tell me more of your…stories.

 

- But I don’t want to –said the boy pouting.

 

The General opened one eye with difficulty.

 

- If you go to sleep now I’ll take you to ride tomorrow –Achilles eyes shone and immediately dropped on the bed, closed his eyes and embraced his father.

 

I should have thought this earlier –thought Hephaistion before failing asleep again.

 

XXX

 

Alexander’s day hadn’t been better than Hephaistion’s, it was passed midnight when he returned to the camp and went directly to his best friend’s tent. He was eager to embrace him and spend with him the rest of the night. On his way, he heard a boys’ laughter near him, and saw his page Glycon clumsily kissing a blond boy he recognized as Kyros.

 

He smiled. At that age he was sharing a bedroom with Hephaistion in Mieza, getting into his bed when he couldn’t sleep and enjoying his best friend’s innocent kisses that soon evolved in ardent caresses. Life was very simple then, but he wouldn’t change his present for nothing because now he was living his dream.

 

No one stopped Alexander, who would dare to stop the Macedonian Lion in his own camp? He dismissed the 2 boys who were following him with torches when he arrived to his destiny. Only darkness welcomed him inside, but after a few moments he got used to it.  

 

He found Kyros’ bed emptied. The Theban had arranged the blankets and pillows to look as if somebody was sleeping there and the King shook his head.

 

Boys –he thought amused.

 

Alexander untied his cloak and walked to his beloved’s bed. From where he was standing he saw Hephaistion’s back, he was sleeping on his side with the blanket around his waist. He smiled, climbed to bed and surrounded his best friend’s waist, kissing he back of his neck and his cheek looking for his lips.

 

Hephaistion moaned softly.

 

- Alex?

 

- You were expecting someone else? –Hephaistion lazily smiled and returned his kisses, but when he felt Alexander’s hands on his thighs, he suddenly remembered he wasn’t sleeping alone. 

 

- No, wait –he pushed the King away confusing him.

 

- What’s wrong?

 

- I’m not alone.

 

- WHAT?!

 

- Shush…it’s not what you are thinking –said Hephaistion whispering, the last thing he needed was to wake Achilles up. 

 

- Would you mind to explain me?

 

Hephaistion sighed, resigned that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep that night. He sat on his bed and looked for his oil lamp.

 

- You asked me if something had happened early today –he said while lighting on his lamp. The King nodded—Well, I found grandpa and Eni and they brought me a surprise.

 

- A surprise? –Hephaistion lit the bed and Alexander saw Achilles peacefully sleeping, embracing a pillow—What’s this?

 

- People called them: kids, Alex –said his best friend, trying not to laugh when Alexander saw him with narrowed eyes.

 

- What is he doing here? –the King had an idea then—Don’t tell me he is Eni’s son.

 

- No, he is…mine –Alexander saw him as if he didn’t speak Macedonian.

 

- Yours how? You found him? Honestly Phai, if you keep picking up children every time we take a city, by the end of the campaign you're going to travel like an Asian potentate with a court the size of my army –said the King.

 

Hephaistion sighed.

 

- He is my son –that left Alexander speechless, and his best friend took the opportunity to explain all what he had heard from his grandfather.

 

By the end of his story the only sound they could hear were the guards shouting the password for the change of shifts.

 

- Please, say something –asked Hephaistion softly.

 

- I don’t know what to say –admitted the King, but for his best friend relief, he seem calm, surprised but not angry—He is my sister’s son… –he said as if that were hard to believe— What are you going to do?

 

- I truly don’t know –Alexander was surprised to hear him speak like that. For once Hephaistion was confused and lost, as he had never seen him before. Their problems, days ago, about Hephaistion’s feelings, had been less complicated because, among all his insecurities and doubts, Hephaistion knew he loved Alexander, in this case Hephaistion didn’t know anything— Alex, I don’t know what to think or feel. I know that he is my son and I should love him, but I don’t know him, I didn’t even know he existed until this day… does that make me a terrible person? –it was a plea in his voice, and Alexander could not resist the urge to hug him. 

 

- You are the most wonderful person I have ever met –the King whispered softly—Don’t say that again. You are tired Phai, we had a very difficult day after a very difficult siege…sleep tight and tomorrow you’ll see things clearly –Hephaistion nodded and rested his head on Alexander’s shoulder—I love you.

 

- And I love you too…

 

XXX

 

(1) Santiago Posteguillo. Africanus: The Consul’s Son, p 382