CHAPTER 43

 

Alexander marched with his army to Alida where Queen Ada surrendered her stronghold and treated the young King as if he were her son. Hephaistion was really surprised when he saw the Queen, she was an old and enigmatic lady with a very elegant appearance; all about her spoke about royalty and by her way of talking it was clear that she was a woman used to gave orders, but very gentle too. Queen Ada even brought with her her servants and cooks, and prepared for the Macedonians a splendid banquet, which the King and his friends enjoyed greatly after days eating rations of dry meat.  

 

- If she were younger I would be very jealous –said Hephaistion, it was late at night, and they were sitting on the King’s bed eating olives, courtesy of the Queen.

 

The King smiled, remembering the long conversation he had in private with the old Queen.

 

- You should never be jealous of me –he said, his head down but his eyes were on Hephaistion, giving him a mysterious appearance that almost made his best friend sighed dreamily. It was his look like a predator one of the things that Hephaistion liked the most about him.

 

- And why is that? –he asked, following the blond’s game.

 

- Because I love you, and my heart beats only for you –said the King making him immensely happy. He knew Alexander loved him, but it wasn’t bad to heart it every now and then—Queen Ada said she wants to adopt me. 

 

- I can see her point –said Hephaistion still smiling—She isn’t young and has no sons to inherit. It would be good to you too, you know.

 

- I know, that’s why I’m thinking to accept –Alexander took one olive and played with it in his fingers.

 

His eyes look darker with this light –thought Hephaistion, watching him with a love and adoration that Alexander would never find anywhere else.

 

It was a quiet night, and Hephaistion was grateful to see his King calm and happy, thinking with a cool head. He had heart from Perdikkas, Leonnatos, Ptolemy, his brother Nikandros, Thais and even from Kyros how things gone for them in his absence.

 

- He was more than scary –had said Leonnatos—I have heard of wraiths that haunted houses less terrifying than him.

 

- He was impossible! –was Perdikkas opinion—In a horrible mood, nobody could talk reason with him. 

 

- The only thing in his head was you –said Ptolemy giving his expert point of view—If you went and asked him: how is the weather? He answered: Phaaaiii!!!

 

- How was he in your absence? LOST! –said Nikandros—I’m truly impressed that he didn’t got himself killed at the Granicus, did you know he was wounded on the head?

 

- He was so sad –said Thais, remembering the King’s sorry state with dreamy eyes—It was so cute, he loves you so much, he didn’t sleep or eat and was always worried thinking how would you be.

 

- I just saw him from afar –said Kyros— But he looked very bad, Glycon, one of his pages is my friend, he told me he drank too much wine when he was alone.

 

Hephaistion shook his head remembering everything. He would have never thought he had so much power over Alexander; after all his best friend was an extraordinary man and he… he was a nobody. Alexander had been born to become a legend and he only to die in darkness; while people would know the young King’s name for generations to come his name would be like written in sand, erased by the winds of time.

 

But he was fine with that, he didn’t wanted to be a legend he just wanted to be at Alexander’s side, to be loved for someone like him, that was his reward, even if sometimes sharing a Great Man’s dream could be a burden. Now he understood, Alexander’s dreams were also his dreams, and he would always be at his side; it was tempting to go with a man like Memnon, but deep inside him he knew he wouldn’t be happy with a simpler life.  

 

- Sire? –said Glycon, from the tent’s flaps.

 

- Come in, what is it? –asked Alexander, leaving again the olive in the plate.

 

- Sire, the hipparch Kleitos wants to see you, he says is urgent –said the boy, he looked tired, most probably he was being sleeping when Kleitos called him.  

 

- Where is he?

 

- At the camp’s gates.

 

- What does Kleitos want? –asked Hephaistion, this was unusual and he couldn’t think of a reason why the hipparch would be needing the King at this hour.

 

- Want to come with me and find out?

 

- No, thanks. I’m tired –his best friend stood up, looking for his cloak. 

 

The King nodded.

 

- I’ll go to your tent when I finish with Kleitos.

 

- I’ll be waiting.

 

Hephaistion watched him go and smiled. Yes, this was the kind of life he had chosen and was the life he wanted to live.

 

When Alexander got at the camp’s gates he couldn’t believe what his hipparch told him. It was just too good to be true but the Gods kept smiling at him and now good Zeus let his scouts intercept a caravan in which was traveling Barsine and Memnon’s sons. This couldn’t be better.

 

- What do you plan to do with them? –asked Kleitos, he knew this was a golden opportunity and only a fool wouldn’t see the great advantage they would have with the Greek mercenary’s family as their hostages.

 

Good question. The King’s mind was racing, he could do many things with them, to take revenge for what the mercenary had done to him kidnapping his dearest friend but…that would be the same as lowering to Memnon’s level, and besides his quarrel wasn’t with his family, was with him.

 

- I’ll do nothing –he said at last, and his hipparch saw him in shock—Let them go, but first I want to talk to his wife.

 

- All right, but if I were you I would keep them as hostages –said Kleitos.

 

- Then, I suppose Memnon must be very grateful that you are not me –said Alexander smiling, he was truly in a very good mood.

 

Barsine was taken to the King’s tent. She had no idea of what they were going to do with her and her sons but she was waiting the worst, after all her husband had kidnapped Hephaistion and Barsine was sure that Hephaistion had told his lover everything about his captivity, including the fact that she had feed him only with hard bread and water when they were alone. But she had no idea that Hephaistion had said nothing of the sort to Alexander, and that the King had nothing against her, he truly just wanted to talk to her. 

 

Alexander was curious about what kind of person was Memnon but he didn’t want to ask Hephaistion, maybe it was silly but for some reason he didn’t want to touch the subject of the Greek mercenary with him.

 

Barsine was alert at every moment and didn’t let her guard down even when Alexander came and treated her with all courtesy and respect, just as Memnon had behaved with Hephaistion. The King offered her something to eat, but she remained silent.

 

- I’m not going to harm you –said the King, when she didn’t move and refused everything he gave her—You and your sons are free to go, as soon as we finish our conversation.

 

Barsine raise an eyebrow, she didn’t like the Macedonian King but kept her feelings concealed; she had to use all her wit in order to survive and kept her sons safe.

 

- What do you want from me? –she asked, not without curiosity.

 

- Just talk about your husband –Barsine saw her opportunity then. This was her chance to take revenge on Hephaistion. Her heart beat faster and she had to make an effort to remain calm.

 

- Oh, I suppose you want to know about what happened between my husband and your lover –those words caught the complete attention of the King, he hadn’t expected that.

 

- And what do I need to know that I don’t know already? –that was a gallant answer but inside he was burning with curiosity.

 

- My apologies –Barsine bowed slightly, feigning surprise— I didn’t think that after your lover slept with my husband you will receive him back, that’s all.

 

To describe what Alexander felt in that moment was difficult, a mixture between a murdering rage and a sensation of betrayal filled his heart. What did she say? His Hephaistion, HIS Phai had slept with Memnon? He tried with all his might to remain calm.

 

- You are lying –he said through clenched teeth.

 

- Oh, you didn’t know? –asked Barsine with all innocence, taking her hand to her mouth.

 

- Hephaistion would never do such a thing –he was getting angry. That anger that made him blind and that did emerge this terrible monster that was sleeping inside him.

 

- King Alexander, I didn’t wish to upset you, but I am not a liar, I know what I saw –she said trying her best to not shake—He slept with my husband. 

 

- You can’t proved that, is your word against Hephaistion, and I trust him completely –the King turned his back to her, feeling dizzy and lost.

 

- Do you? Oh, but I have proof, I saw them with my own eyes –said Barsine, gathering all her guts—Your lover, he…mm, how to say it? He has a very sensitive spot behind his hears, doesn’t he?

 

That left Alexander frozen.

 

Hephaistion had slept with Memnon? With the same man that had humiliated him? A dangerous fury took possession of his body, remembering how he had suffered without him; he had been in a living hell without him and Hephaistion… He was having fun with Memnon! He felt like a fool, his dearest friend, his soul mate and other half had betrayed him. He could breath, he couldn’t think, all his most terrible fears had come true and he felt as falling into to the abyss.

 

His mind showing him an image of his dearest friend moaning and sighing in pleasure under the strong body of Memnon. The imaginary Memnon of Alexander that looked like one of Homer’s characters.

 

The King turned and his uneven eyes settled upon Barsine. She shivered; now she was scared...very scared. Barsine had no idea of what she had unleashed. 

 

Well, if Memnon slept with Hephaistion, I’ll do the same with his wife –thought Alexander, spite and anger in complete possession of his body. 

 

XXX

 

When Hephaistion woke up next day he was very disappointed to see that he had slept alone. Alexander didn’t come as he had said, but his best friend thought it was because something really important had showed up. He decided to get up and see for himself what had happened.

 

Kyros, who was more than happy to have his master back, hurried to bring him his clothes and a piece of cake for breakfast. They still had cakes and pastries from Queen Ada, who thought they were children and sent them almost daily all kind of treats.

 

- Are you feeling well, Kyros? –asked Hephaistion, watching the blush on the Theban’s cheeks—Maybe you have fever –he took his hand to the boy’s face and Kyros blushed even more, remembering what he had seen inside the King’s bedroom nights ago. 

 

- I-I-I’m fine –he managed to say, before leaving the tent. He would have to stop thinking about that or he would be in a very embarrassing accident one of those days.

 

Hephaistion made a mental note to ask Kyros what was happening to him. He left his tent and said hello to Ptolemy and Thais who were already up and eating breakfast under a tree.

 

- You woke up early –said Ptolemy.

 

- I’m going to Alexander’s tent –answered Hephaistion, smiling. That morning he let his hair down, he knew how much the King love to see his hair like that and he wanted to give him a surprise, he had even dressed in his beloved’s favorite color: black.

 

- What?! You didn’t sleep together? –asked Ptolemy and Thais laughed softly.

 

- No, Kleitos kept him busy last night –there was something in the way that Hephaistion said “busy” that made the word sound sinfully hot and that made the couple laughed even more. To imagine Alexander and Kleitos together was…weird to say the least.

 

- Hephaistion? – Thais called him when she could talk—I would like to talk to you later if you had time –she wanted to ask him about Memnon, maybe he had seen her father.

 

Hephaistion nodded.

 

- Later this afternoon is fine?

 

- Great!

 

- Well, I leave you then. Health to you!

 

And with that he went to Alexander’s tent, completely oblivious of what was waiting for him inside. The guards didn’t deny him the entrance; they knew better and had no idea of what had happened the night before.

 

Hephaistion walked inside, it wasn’t very illuminated but he could see very well after his eyes get used in the darkness.

 

- Alex, we should ask your new “mommy” to send us a…—but the words died in the same instance he saw Barsine in his King’s bed, completely naked at the side of the also naked Alexander. Her tanned beautiful skin against the white of the king.

 

Barsine moved lazily on the bed, her long black hair falling freely through her shoulders. She heard Hephaistion’s voice and threw her arm around the King’s waist, leaning her head against his chest and sighing comfortably. Hephaistion felt as if a thousand needles were embedded in his heart, he couldn’t move for a moment and just stayed there, watching them as if they were going to disappeared in any moment as a bad dream.

 

- Phai? –asked Alexander half asleep.

 

Hephaistion left the tent. He couldn’t believe what he had seen, and then he remembered his strange dream… Alexander had slept with Barsine. That was all he could think. He walked away as fast as he could without running, the scene he had just seen burned in his mind.

 

- Hephaistion! – Alexander called him from his tent’s entrance, but his best friend ignored him.

 

He arrived at the farthest part of the camp, far away from everything; he paced around and dropped to the floor, bending his legs and resting his head against his knees, closing his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to cry, he would not cry, crying never solved anything…

 

Alexander slept with Barsine.

 

His heart felt numb, his hands trembled and he felt as if all the blood had left his chest. This was hell, no man had experience the pain that was filling his heart in those moments, no torture could be worst than the sight of his dearest one in bed with other person. Alexander was his, and now he had given a part of him to a stranger, to a nobody… How could a man live when his heart was dying? 

 

He needed to lift his head; he needed to breath but couldn’t remember how…

 

The sounds around him were like something distant, the voices, the laughs were unreal…everything was like a nightmare where you know the pain is real and where the void never leaves you, despair is your only companion, a nightmare from which you can’t awake. He was living in a nightmare, but what was a nightmare? A place where you are the spectator of your own pain at the same time you are the main character; it’s where you can’t awake even if you wanted to; it’s where you are conscious that your own suffering would never go away, would only increase…a nightmare was living an aimless and meaningless existence, knowing that your body moves but you don’t know why.

 

A nightmare was to live in Hell after being in the Paradise…

 

Yes his life was a nightmare…

 

- Hephaistion! –he heard the King’s voice again. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there, but apparently it had been a while because Alexander was panting and sweating, he must have been looking for him around the entire camp—Hephaistion I’m talking to you.

 

- And I don’t want to hear you! –said Hephaistion sad and furious, lifting his head—How dare you? How dare you come after me after having sex with Memnon’s wife?!!!

 

- How dare I? How dare you? You slept with Memnon! –Alexander raised his powerful voice, the same that made armies moved at his will. He was beyond fury.

 

- I NEVER had sex with him! –where did the King got that idea? But the answer struck him like a punch: Barsine—Did Barsine tell you that?

 

- Does that matter?

 

- Of course it matter! –shouted Hephaistion, standing up—You are a fool! Barsine is his wife and she is angry because…

 

- Because what? –Alexander challenged him—ANSWER ME!

 

- He kissed me –said his best friend at last, the words escaped from his lips before he could restrain them—And… he asked me to stay with him –those words only served to fan the flames of the King’s jealousy—She must have heard Memnon…

 

- He kissed you? –asked the King with cold fury. 

 

- Yes.

 

- Only that? –Alexander insisted, remembering of what Barsine had said about his beloved’s hot spots.

 

- What do you mean? –asked Hephaistion frowning. Did Barsine saw when he almost slept with Memnon?

 

- You know exactly what I mean –the King’s voice was full with recrimination, making his best friend feel as if he had committed high treason, as if he was the most despicable of criminals. 

 

Lie to Alexander in that moment was a very bad idea, so Hephaistion decided to tell him the truth, ALL the truth even if that meant the King would be even angrier if that was possible.

 

- He came every day to my room and we talked about everything –said Hephaistion in a low voice—One day he asked me questions about us, he wanted to know what kind of relationship we have and…he kissed me…twice and…we had a little foreplay; but I stopped him before anything else could happen –by the time he finish his story he was looking at his feet, brushing his hair behind his ear.

 

- Why did you have foreplay with him? –this was Alexander’s worst fear coming true, and the hurricane of emotions in his heart was threatening to drive him crazy. 

 

- Why are you asking me this?

 

- TELL ME WHY? –shouted Alexander, very few times Hephaistion had seen him so angry, and that left him without words—I was living a damn hell without you, I was sick with worried thinking how were the mercs treating you, and what did you do? TELL ME?! You almost slept with Memnon, and why? WHY?!     

 

What can I tell him? –thought Hephaistion—I can’t tell him it was because I like him. I like his simplicity and the way he made me feel as his equal…  

 

- HEPHAISTION! –something really terrible about Alexander was that when he shouted he could make the Gods trembled, he had a powerful aura around him and when he was angry he looked terrifying.

 

- Because I like the way he touched me, that’s what you want to hear? –that froze the King—He makes me feel as his equal, he is not aiming to became a God among men as you… and sometimes I’m got tired of being chasing you…you are unreachable at moments… 

 

They felt silent; a very uncomfortable atmosphere had formed around them.

 

- You are MY Patroclus, Hephaistion –said Alexander with a voice that made all the hair in his back to stand—And you are changing Achilles for Thersites.

 

- Why are you being like this? –asked Hephaistion—You always want to have things your way but I’m not one of your possessions.

 

- But you are –said the King—You are MINE and I don’t want to share you. Maybe you didn’t have sex with him –said Alexander with a cold calm—But you wanted to –his best friend snorted.

 

- If I wanted to be with Memnon I wouldn’t be here, don’t you think? –said Hephaistion—You are unfair, you dare to come here and accuse me as if I were the worst of the criminals, and what about you? You are still warm after spending the night with Barsine.

 

- That was your fault! –said Alexander in a hurtful tone and Hephaistion felt as if he had hit him.

 

- I have never want any other person in my life –his best friend’s voice trembled, holding his gaze, his gray eyes telling him how much he loved him and how much his words had wounded his heart—But having this conversation with you, makes me wished I had had sex with Memnon.

 

And with that Hephaistion left the King alone.

 

XXX

 

- Kleitos! –shouted Alexander, striding to where the hipparch was—Where is Barsine?

 

Oh, no! He is angry again –thought Kleitos in dismay.

 

- She is gone as you order.

 

The King cursed. If Barsine were still there, he would have killed her with his own hands for lying to him. He had hurt the most import person in his life all because of a lie and he couldn’t forgive himself for being such a fool.

 

XXX