Chapter 26

 

CHAPTER 26

 

Alexander was in his study signing papers that Eumenes needed about the army supplies. They had serious economic problems, and like his father before him, he knew he needed to go to Asia as soon as possible.

 

— We don’t have money –said the secretary and Alexander thought that lately that was all that Eumenes said “we don’t have money” He knew the kingdom did not have money there was no need in remained him the same thing every day.

 

— I heard you last time you said this to me –was the King’s answer, but Eumenes was not ready to give up. 

 

— Alexander, to buy the supplies for the Thracian campaign I had to borrow money from the richest families in Macedonia –explained the secretary—We have to do something, if this situation continues the kingdom will be so indebt that it would be impossible to take the army to Asia.

 

— That won’t happen –said the King, with the firm conviction of someone who knows nothing about economy.

 

Alexander could be a genius in military affairs, could possessed a gifted intelligence but he, like Philip before him, had “the pirate’s mentality when it came to finances”(1) In others words the only source of income they knew was to obtain metals, like gold or silver, from the mines or steal it in the form of military booty.

 

It was in moments like this that Eumenes wanted to strangulate his King.

 

Alexander was bored doing what he hated most: administration work. He was eager to go to Thracia and left the palace, be again on the battlefield with his army, to feel the sensation on being free and heading to the unknown, to live an adventure with his dearest friend… if only the snow melted quickly enough to take the army to the north.

 

Many years later, when I was at a dinner in a house on the Palatine in Rome, I heard emperor Caesar Augustus said: “ Alexander did not regard as a great task to set in order which he had won than to win it” He had no idea of how right he was. My Alexander hated to administrate, for him only mattered the glory of the conquest. 

 

Someone knocked at the door and a guard appeared in his study.

 

— I’m sorry to interrupt you, Alexander –said the guard with respect—But Princess Thessalonike wants to see you.

 

Thessalonike? –thought the King, she was surely the last person he expected to see. She was his half sister but they rarely talked. What could she possible want?

 

— Let her pass –said Alexander, standing up—We’ll continue later, Eumenes.

 

— Alexander, General Parmelio sent you a letter with his son Nikanor, he asked for an audience this morning –said Eumenes, taking the recently signed papers with him.

 

— I will see him after my sister –said the King. The secretary bowed slightly and left the study.

 

A beautiful blond girl of 17 years old, not too tall with bright blue eyes, entered the room. She looked lost and she didn’t know how to talk with his half brother, should she called him King? Brother? Alexander? She wasn’t sure, but Alexander seeing her shyness, and guessing what was her problem, smiled at her with kindness.

 

— You can call me brother, Thessalonike. Come, have a seat, you don’t have to be afraid of me –said the King, and the girl nodded, watching her feet as if there was a magical answer to her problems.

 

— Thank you, I-I wasn’t sure if it was fine for me to come here –said Thessalonike.

 

— I assume you have some kind of problem –said Alexander and she nodded again.

 

— Well, it is not a problem, is more like…I have a request –that caught the King’s attention—I know that my mother is the right person to ask for this, but… I want to do this myself.

 

— It’s fine with me, what do you need, sister? –even if they didn’t know each other well, he was very kind to her; she was his half sister after all and he had learned to treat women with respect, specially the ones of his family.

 

— I want to get married –said Thessalonike, her voice firm.

 

— I found that understandable, and I presume you already have someone in mind, or else you wouldn’t be here.

 

She lifted her head, and her eyes shone.

 

— Yes, I have someone in mind –said Thessalonike, she was excited—I heard he is looking for wife and I want to ask you to talk with his father and arrange everything. Please brother, I don’t have a father anymore and no male relatives that could arrange my marriage, and you are the King; I thought that maybe if you go, his family would accept.

 

— I see that this man really caught your attention –said Alexander, surprised—But you can’t forget that you are the daughter of a King and the sister of the present King, you are a Macedonian Princess and you cannot married anyone. Your sister Cleopatra is married to a King.

 

If Alexander had not being who he was, he would have let his sisters to marry whomever they want, but they were Princesses, and as women they had an incredible value to negotiate with other Kings and leaders, he could seal alliances by offering them in marriage.

 

— I know, brother, but I assure you, this man is from a noble Macedonian family and he is a brave soldier. You won’t disapprove him –Thessalonike insisted—Please brother, talk to his family, I heard they already have 36 marriage proposals for him.

 

The King opened his eyes wide open. 36? Not even him had so many marriage proposals. He must be an important man, he only hope he wasn’t from Attalos’ faction. 

 

— All right, I’ll talk to his father; I give you my word on that –Thessalonike smiled, and her face shone as if she had been crown Queen of the Universe.

 

She fell on her knees and took Alexander’s hands, kissing them.

 

— Thank you brother, thank you, thank you.

 

— Please sister, don’t –he lifted her, and seated his half sister again at his side—Rest assure that everything is going to be fine, who could refuse to marry the King’s sister?   

 

She gave him a beautiful smile.

 

— Thank you, and please, called me Thessa, that’s how my friends call me.

 

— All right, Thessa.

 

— I was worried that by the time my mother accepted to talk to you he would be already married. My mother thinks I’m too young to have a husband –she admitted, feeling more comfortable with him.

 

— And who is this popular man? Can I have a name or I will have to ask at the city? –Thessalonike laughed, now completely relax.

 

— You know him, it’s your friend, Hephaistion son of Amyntor –the smiled abandoned the King’s face.

 

— What?

 

— Yes, I heard he wants to get marry.

 

— Where did you hear that? –he was so serious, that it was like talking to a completely different person.

 

— A-at the city, everybody is talking about that –she explained—And Eni was the one who told me about his marriage proposals a few days ago.

 

Alexander stood up, and ran his hand through his face. Hephaistion? Married? That couldn’t be, he hadn’t told him anything like that but… What if after the conversation he had witness with the Queen he had thought about getting married?  

 

— Is there a problem? –asked Thessalonike, worried.

 

— What?! No –he lied.

 

— Brother, I know he was your eromenos, and I know that this could be awkward for you –she said shyly—But I am truly in love with him since I was 9 years old, and if he wants to get marry, what better choice than me? I am your half sister; he would be your brother-in-law.

 

Alexander wished she stopped talking. Every word made him feel terrible jealousy, he didn’t want to see his friend married, not even to his half sister, but he had given her his word that he would go to talk with his family, and now he had no choice. He desperately needed to talk to his friend and clarify this situation.  

 

— I am going now to see Phai –said the King, forgetting about the audience with Parmelio’s son. Thessalonike smiled, misunderstanding him.

 

— Thank you, brother.

 

XXX

 

— Phai, did you hear? Daphne, Attalos’ widow, wants to marry you –said Nikandros, teasing his brother. He was lying on Hephaistion’s bed with his arms crossed behind his head, while Hephaistion was trying to write a letter to his master Aristotle—Koinos wants to marry her, but dad told me that Daphne begged her father to let her marry you, and yesterday came Philotas with a letter from Parmelio offering his daughter to you. Philotas didn’t look happy; I suppose he is still mad after you refused to be his eromenos. 

 

— I feel again like when I was 15 years old, and everybody wanted to be my erastes –said his brother, checking his letter.

 

— I was thinking that myself –said Nikandros, his eyes on the ceiling—But this time, Alexander can’t save you. I don’t think they would let the King marry you –said his brother laughing.

 

— Ha-ha –said Hephaistion without humor.

 

— Phai, why don’t you just get marry? –said Nikandros—You could still be with Alexander.

 

— I don’t want to do that –Hephaistion continued writing— Doing, what you propose, is playing with the feeling of a woman, it wouldn’t be fair for her. 

 

— You are too good for your own good –said his brother—By the way, your birthday is next week.

 

— Yeah, so?

 

— I want to see how many presents you are going to receive now that all the girls in the kingdom are after you –said Nikandros and Hephaistion stopped writing. He had not thought about that but his brother was right, daily he was receiving gifts and letters, and thanks to Lysanias and Antigone everyone knew when was his birthday. 

 

Oh, I just want to disappear –thought Hephaistion, when someone knocked at the door.

 

— Come in –said Nikandros, and Alexander appeared—Oh! Joy to you, Alexander!

 

— Joy to you, Nick –said the King—Cadie told me you were here, Phai. I want to talk to you.

 

— You heard about my recent popularity, don’t you? –said Hephaistion, leaving his letter.  

 

— My half sister, Thessalonike, wants to marry you –Nikandros laughed but judging by the King’s expression he was angry, thought Hephaistion.

 

— Do you want to go for a ride? –asked his friend.

 

That was an excellent pretext to leave the house and talk alone. This was the third day of sun, and people in Pella were feeling happier now that they could leave their houses. They rode for a while outside the city gates; the wind was freezing but the day wasn’t as cold as last week.

 

— Do you want to get marry? – finally, after a while, Alexander talked about what was bothering him.

 

Hephaistion patted his horse head.

 

— You know me better than this –he said with calm—And you know that I don’t want a wife more than you do.  

 

Those words eased the King’s heart.

 

— Then, what is this all about? Thessalonike said all Pella is after you.

 

Hephaistion sighed and told him everything about Iokaste. By the time he had finished Alexander was laughing.

 

— I fail to see the funny side of this –said his friend.

 

- I’m sorry, Phai. But I imagined everything but this –said the King, feeling much better now. He never thought how much would affect him the idea of his Hephaistion with a wife. Hephaistion was his, now and forever.

 

— I don’t know what to do. But for now I’m planning to move to Perdikkas’ house –said Hephaistion.

 

— Perdikkas’ house? –that was new—Why not to the palace with me?

 

— I want to hide myself, and nobody is going to look for me at Perdikkas’ place –Hephaistion explained—If I go with you at the palace all the court would know.

 

— You are exaggerating –Boukephalos hit the ground with his hoof—You are sounding like Helen of Troy, and I always thought of you as an invincible warrior like Ajax or a loving companion like Patroklos. 

 

— Ha-ha, I’m not exaggerating.

 

— Just explain everything, send letters to the families of the girls who want to marry you, and explain that this situation is a misunderstanding –said Alexander.

 

— I can’t do that. Dad is right; if I don’t pick a wife now I’m going to make a lot of enemies among the Macedonian high nobility –said Hephaistion, sighing—Alex, Parmelio offered me his only daughter and Antipater came to talk with dad, offering me his second daughter Phila –he made a pause— Perdikkas told me he heard Cassander complaining because 3 of his sisters wanted to marry me. His father chose Phila, and Nikaia and Eurydice, his other sisters, were so angry that they cut all of Phila’s hair while she was sleeping.

 

— Gee Gods! Women can be terrible –said Alexander, making a face.

 

— And now you! You told me your half sister wants to be my wife, a Macedonian Princess!

 

— Yes, but I’m not going to be mad at you if you refuse to marry Thessa –said the King, and his friend saw him through narrowed eyes.

 

— That’s not funny –Hephaistion dismounted and started to walk, leading his horse by the reins. Alexander did the same—I don’t know what to do but, as things are now, I’m afraid I would have to get marry. 

 

— Not necessarily –said Alexander in a mysterious tone of voice.

 

— What are you thinking?

 

— You’ll see soon enough.

 

XXX

 

The King told Eumenes that he wished to spend the afternoon at Amyntor’s house. Of course the secretary wasn’t happy to hear this, he could not stand Hephaistion when King Philip was after him, now he hated him with all his forces. In his opinion Hephaistion was a bad influence for Alexander, but he couldn’t complain; the only thing he could say was to remind the King that he had important appointments for the afternoon, but Alexander dismissed him.

 

— I will see them tomorrow –said the King, leaving his secretary alone at the palace’s entrance, watching him go with Hephaistion at his side.

 

This was a great excuse to stop doing administration work. It was childish, but he truly needed a break, and what a better thing to do than to spend the rest of the day with his soul mate. He loved Hephaistion’s house, and of course Antigone’s cooking; but, the best part of his day, was when he discovered his beloved’s fan mail, hidden under his mattress. Hephaistion was busy finishing his letter while the King was comfortable reading.

 

— I can’t believe half the things these girls said to you in their letters –said Alexander, lying on Hephaistion’s bed, face up.

 

— Where did you find that? –his beloved asked frowning.

 

— Under your mattress –answered the King without shame.

 

Hephaistion shook his head, returning to his letter. If he continued like this, he would never finish his letter for Aristotle. Writing to his master was always very difficult, not that he did not enjoy doing it, but he had to be very careful of what he said to his master, Aristotle was not the kind of person who tolerate casual talking and if he saw a letter with a chaotic handwriting or grammar and orthographic mistakes he didn’t read it.

 

— Leave the letters; trust me you are not going to find nothing interesting there –said his beloved, looking for another parchment on his desk. 

 

— I wouldn’t be so sure about that. For example, this letter says: “ Dear Hephaistion, I saw you on the day of the Assembly, when you were leaving the Temple of Herakles and let me tell you that I am in love with you. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! There isn't a thing that could keep me away for you” –Alexander laughed, embarrassing his friend—Wait, this one is better: “Hephaistion I love you, my favorite name is Hephaistion: H is for Handsome, E is Enthralling, P is for Perfect, H is for Hot, A is for Amazing, I is for Intelligent, S is for Superb, T is for Totally Awesome, I is for Incredible, O is for Only you I love and N is for Non other like you.”

 

— Give me back my letters –asked Hephaistion, stretching his arm and trying to take the letters away from the King, but he failed miserably.

 

— “Dear Hephaistion you have the sexiest legs ever, I can’t stop thinking about you, I’m totally obsessed” –Alexander continued reading—Oh! This one is great “I’m engaged with this man since I was a little girl but I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!! You are every woman’s dream.”

 

— Alex, I’m serious, give me back that –Hephaistion stood up and walked to his bed, trying to take his letters again, but Alexander ran with them to the door.

 

— “Hephaistion, Dear Gods! Everything about you is just the sex! I love you” –Alexander kept reading, dodging his beloved’s attempts to take the letters—Wait a second, this letter talks about me, too “I love you waaaaaaaaaay too much. Every time I see you with the King, I have this sinking feeling in my chest, it hurts me, please can’t you love me a little?”

 

— Alexander! –that was a warning, but the King ignored him.

 

— “I’m absolutely crazy about you, I’m so crazy that my parents are planning to take me to Asclepius’s temple to see if the priests can cure me” –Hephaistion had enough humiliation for one afternoon and he ran after Alexander, pursuing him all over the house.

 

Antigone saw them, running like children and laughing, jumping over the furniture until they reach the garden. She smiled. Who would ever thought they were a King and his most faithful hetairoi? She only hope their happiness could last, away from intrigues and conspiracies. 

 

— Alexander, I’m serious, give me back my mail! –shouted Hephaistion, trying to catch him but the King was faster than he.

 

— Come and get it! –shouted Alexander back, turning to see him. 

 

— Alex! Look out! –Hephaistion saw with eyes wide open how the King was running directly to a tree; but it was too late and Alexander crushed against the trunk, all the letters came out flying around him.

 

Hephaistion laughed when he reached his side, unable to stop himself.

 

— My head –said the King, taking his hand to his head, his blond hair covered with leafs.

 

— You deserved that for stealing my mail –said Hephaistion, helping him to stand up. But, when Alexander was on his feet his beloved laughed again.

 

— What?

 

— Your head –he said laughing. 

 

— What’s wrong with it? –Hephaistion couldn’t answer, and he continued laughing.

 

The King frowned, and walked to a small fountain in the garden to see his reflection.

 

— What the…? –he had two leafs trapped on his untidy hair that looked like horns. He brushed his hair with his fingers.

 

— Better –Hephaistion walked to him.

 

— Phai, tell me something, what do you do with this letters?  

 

— What do you mean? –asked his beloved, taking a deep breath.

 

— Do you answer them? –asked Alexander, bending to take water on his hand to drink.

 

— Yes, I don’t want to hurt their feelings –explained Hephaistion—These girls needed a lot of guts to write to me, it would be rude for my part to laugh at them or throw their letters to the garbage. I think about my sister every time a girl comes with a letter of a gift, so I handle them the way I would like others to handle Eni.

 

— You are too good, that’s why I love you –said the King, and his beloved smiled.

 

XXX

 

Alexander’s idea to help his best friend was very simple. Since they had many sunny days at Pella, he decided to march against the Thracians, 2 days later for their generals utterly astonishment.

 

— It’s winter –said Kleitos in the King’s study.

 

— So? –asked Alexander with innocence. 

 

— The military season starts in spring.

 

— I know, but we have waited enough, besides the snow has melted and the paths are ready for the army. We march in 2 days.

 

That was the King’s final word, and two days latter the whole army was marching to the north. 

 

— This was your idea for solving my problem? –asked Hephaistion, riding at the King’s side at the front of the army.

 

— Yes, now you don’t have time to choose a wife, and we are going to be on campaign for your birthday, and the next 2 or 3 months –said Alexander smiling.

 

— You are impossible –his friend smiled back—But surely you realized that this do not solve my problem.

 

— No, but you have more time to think. And after what I saw outside Pella, you truly need time to think –said Alexander.

 

— Please, don’t remind me that.

 

With all naivety, Hephaistion thought his fan girls would not dare to go to the army’s zone of reunion outside Pella, after all these were noble girls, and good noble girls did not go near vulgar and dirty soldiers, right? How wrong he was. When he arrived, riding his magnificent white horse, there was a small army of girls. Oh how he wished to disappear. But, as always, he talked to them politely and accepted all the things they gave him. Hephaistion was very popular not only because of his looks, and the Gods knew he could not be more handsome, but also because he was very nice to them, and in a time were the concept of gentlemanly did not exist as the people in the XXI century understands it, he was like a dream come true.

 

At the end he had 12 different amulets of 12 different Gods to protect him on the battlefield, 5 big bags of food, 2 magnificent fur cloaks for the cold, 10 pairs of wooden socks, 3 scarves, 4 pairs of gloves and 2 beautifully embroidered cloaks. All these things made by the girls to show him that they could be good housewives.

 

Cassander, who after all accepted to go with them, was furious to see his sisters there. Nikaia and Eurydice were the ones who gave Hephaistion a fur cloak and a scarf, but they did not give anything to their big brother.

 

— Women are suppose to see that the men of their families are well equip to go to war –said Cassander to his sisters.

 

— You want to have a woman weaving for you? Get marry! –answered Nikaia, making the rest of his companions laugh.     

 

But the best part was when Aristopatra, Krateros’ sister, gave Hephaistion an enormous bag of food. She looked nothing like his older brother; she was short, slender, with a very sweet and childish face, brown hair and brown eyes. She looked like a doll and, for what Hephaistion knew, she was also very innocent.

 

— Please, take care –said Aristopatra, in a low voice, not daring to look at him in the eye, with her hands on her lap.

 

— Thank you –Hephaistion smiled and she blushed even more.

 

— YOU! –they heard a booming voice, that made several girls to jump.

 

— What do you want? –asked Hephaistion, tired. Aristopatra opened her eyes scared, and hid herself behind Hephaistion.

 

— What are you doing with MY sister? –Krateros was furious, his fists, which looked like hammers, were trembling.

 

— Your sister? –in that moment Hephaistion learned that Krateros’ sister didn’t look at all like him—She is YOUR sister? –he almost laugh. This was like the tale of the Beauty and the Beast and, as mad as Krateros was, he truly looked as if he had fangs.

 

— Aristopatra, what are you doing here? –Krateros demanded to know but she did not answer, and stayed were she was, behind Hephaistion—Aristopatra!

 

— Don’t yell at her –said Hephaistion and Aristopatra saw him with big bright eyes, he was her hero. The rest of the men were too scared of her brother to defend her.

 

— Don’t tell me how to treat my sister –he waved his index finger in front of his face.

 

— What’s going on here? –asked Alexander, walking to them. For a moment he stopped when his uneven eyes saw the girls there. This was definitely the last place where you expected to see girls like them.

 

— He is perverting my sister! –exclaimed Krateros, pointing at Hephaistion.

 

The King saw his beloved and the small delicate figure hidden behind him.  

 

— He is not, brother –said Thessalonike, walking to Alexander, ready to defend Hephaistion.

 

— What, in the name of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades, are you doing here? –asked the King, not angry but surprised.

 

Thessalonike blushed.

 

— I-I heard is very cold at Thrace, so I brought Hephaistion a fur cloak –said the Princess, and Alexander ran his hand through his face. 

 

— All right ladies, this is no place for young women like you –said the King in his parade voice, as if he was giving orders to his men—Go back to your houses –nobody moved, they stayed there watching him with resentment. They all knew he was Hephaistion’s lover and had no love for him.

 

What the…? –thought Alexander seeing their faces.

 

— Go, NOW! –they had no choice but to obey, mumbling their complains on they way back.

 

Back from his memories, Hephaistion saw the road in front of them, the one that would take them to Thrace, and sighed. Yes, he needed time to think.  

 

XXX

 

(1) Peter Green. Alexander of Macedon, p 31

A/N: Hephaistion’s fan mail is based in real events. I took hints of how to write the letters from a fan forum of Robert Pattinson. God knows I do NOT like him, but God bless his fan girls! And, if he has that kind of fans, Hephaistion can have them too ^_^ 

 

About the companions’ sisters. Some are real, like Cassander’s sisters (he had 4 sisters and 5 brothers, truly Antipater had nothing to do). Krateros didn’t have sisters, but I created one for him and gave her the same name as Krateros’ mother. Nearchos and Leonnatos, I truly don’t know if they had sisters, but lets think they had. Philotas had a sister, who married Attalos, but nobody knows her name, reason why I named her Daphne, but she was real.

 

Again a million thanks for reading.